NaBloPoMo Topic #18: "Which would you rather get first - your peg leg or your hook?"
Ahh, let us skip right over the immortal question: Pirate or Ninja? and go straight to the assumption of piratehood. It so happens I'm a Ninja of the 12th Nakarro. Of course you don't know what that means, and don't try to find it on Google. We are a unique legion of incredibly talented and swift Ninja with top secret connections. We are the guardians of the Illuminati and the keepers of lost kittens.But this is about pirates, isn't it?
Well, it might be easy to simply say peg leg. Why? It's easier to manage your balance if you have two hands, isn't it? Not to mention adjusting your leg when needed, hemming pants, etc. So,
Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 PIRATE LIMB REPLACEMENTS:
JACK SPOONER - Scourge of the red sea, Captain Jack favored an eye patch.
- CRAZED JACK JACKSON - Stayed mostly in port. He favored two eye patches, both over the right eye.
- BLIND JACK MCBAD - Sailed around the Isle of White until he threw up. Named so because he sported two eye patches (one over each eye).
- JACK THE CAT - Had a Calico cat on deck with him. The cat had three peg legs.
- CAPTAIN JOHN THE JACKASS - Famed for seizing Captain Jack the Cat's ship, tossing the cat overboard, and standing there laughing as the cat tried to swim with three peg legs. John The Jackass had all of his body parts (but often picked his nose).
- TRADER JACK - A pirate who pretended to be a tradesman on the open seas, then seized ships. Trader Jack had a wooden pinky finger and silver teeth.
- JACK THE TRAITOR - His name was self-explanatory, but there was no explanation for his buttock replacement. Jack the Traitor had an ass made of two hollowed-out cannonball shells.
- JACK MORISSETTE - A French pirate who always kept one hand in his pocket. The other one was usually doing something else.
- SERGEANT JACK - Never made it to Captain Jack status, Sgt. Jack had three peg toes and one peg leg. And, rather than a hook, when Trader Jack took his hand, Sgt. Jack had it replaced with a feather duster. Why? "Aar, to keep me sovereigns clean. Arrrr."
- BOB SMITH - Angered because he wasn't named Jack by his parents (who were also pirates and should have known better), Bob had a wooden ear and a hook knee. He was kicked off his hacky-sack team at age 13.
Comin', fellas! NaaahhhhIIIIiiiiiiiinnnooooooooo!
Tomorrow!
This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team
(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)
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http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.
http://bectaylorhouse.
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.
http://babybluespider.
http://circleeverything.
http://hollykoster.blogspot.
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