Baby Blue Spider

IT'S ALIVE!!!

2011-05-11T06:37:00.001-05:00

I'm proud to announce the first chapter of the first blognovel in a LONG TIME is now live over at the Heart of Bronze site!

I hope you'll give it a read, I hope you'll follow each new chapter as they're posted every Wednesday, and I hope you'll leave comments for me at my facebook page. This is where I'd post a link to my facebook page, but I'll be derned if I can figure out how to get to it (I have two, both with my name on them). Tell you what, find Michael Rigg on facebook and if the picture is either the cover of "Heart of Bronze" or the covers of "August Winter" or "An Angel for Sara Dawn," you found me.

Have a wonderful day, everyone!

HEART OF BRONZE IS LAUNCHED

2011-05-04T06:42:00.001-05:00

Nuff said.

See it here!

Heart of Bronze 001

2011-05-02T05:29:00.003-05:00

It's time to check in.

My new blognovel, Heart of Bronze (formerly "Brass Heart") begins this week. I'm hoping to have the introduction and acknowledgments up and running by Wednesday, and I'll be posting up chapter 1 a week from Wednesday, following up each week after that with a new chapter every week until the whole story is written.

I'd like to announce the first Heart of Bronze contest winner!

I've selected a cover to launch the new novel. Ethan Richards' cover, which I've dubbed 'Flag' is my selection to launch the story. Naturally, as the story progresses (Like "August Winter" it will flow from the hearts of the characters. There's no outline or notes. The story will just move on its own. I can't even say how long it will be) the feel behind the cover may change. Will 'Heart' become more of a war story, more straightforward Steampunk, more of a romance?

Time and typing will tell. And, as the story progresses, I'll be happy to see your art and designs, so keep 'em coming. I'll leave the contest open for the first five chapters, so you essentially have until mid-June.

In the meantime, here is Ethan's cover. I hope you'll enjoy the story. Stay tuned.

Above: Ethan Richards' cover elements for Heart of Bronze. Author's note: I made some changes to Ethan's submission to more closely conform it to my own vision during launch week. Still, the basis of his intentions are close to my own in a lot of the elements.

Ethan now gets to submit a character who will make an appearance in the story. I haven't decided yet whether or not to tell you who that will be ;)

You really should follow this....

2011-04-22T06:19:00.001-05:00

Periodic check-in #1.

I just wanted to let you all know that the NOVEL COVER CONTEST is still on. The details are still up at MichaelRigg.com and, if you comb back through a few Spider entries, you'll find the promised snippets of chapters 1 and 2.

Get your entries in ;)

Talk to you soon!

Mike

Wha?

2011-04-18T04:48:00.003-05:00

Where have I been?

Or, more accurately, where am I going?

I haven't posted in awhile because I recently went back into the hospital for treatment of atrial fibrillation. I'm under fresh care, traded out some BP drugs for some drugs to give me rhythm, but the bottom line is that I need SLEEEEEEP.

In order to get the sleep I need, I have to cut some things out of my morning routine. The first to go, I'm sorry to say, was the Baby Blue Spider.

I have to be honest with myself and honesty tells me that no one is really reading this. Even as I look back on my 'reboot', I have to say honestly, "If you've been keeping up with this... why?" It's not like it used to be. The humor is gone, and so is the focus.

So, I'm taking another hiatus from the BBS.

I may be back from time to time with little updates, but truth be told I need find a focus for myself. I'm not through with blogging, just like I'm not through with the podcasting career I never started. I just need to find the time, find the energy, and find the focus.

Still want to follow me?

Sure, I welcome all stalkers. Watch for me to increase my presence on facebook. You can find me as, who else, Michael Rigg (the one from Chicago).

Take care and I'll talk to you soon.

HUGE PS: Watch for the new blognovel coming in May. You can keep up with that at MichaelRigg.com.

Weekend Report

2011-04-11T05:04:00.003-05:00

FRIDAY
The weekend kicked off with a great dinner with my wife and mother-in-law at a local Polish buffet restaurant. This marked the first time I didn't come home sick from blintzitis. It was a nice evening with mom, very relaxing and pleasant with no disasters.

SATURDAY
The highlight was venturing out with my wife to the Lincoln Oasis to see a mini bicycle conference. This held two special things for me, the first being that I remember when I was about 6 years old and my father taking us on vacation. We stopped at the oasis as a treat so I could watch the cars on the expressway zooming past under my feet. It was cool bringing back that memory. The other specialty was being with my wife and getting pumped about biking again. The weather touched the 80s, so it was the perfect inspiration. I learned a few things about bicycle checking, got tons of maps, and snagged a few business cards for local bicycling clubs. It's going to be a sprocket summer, that's for sure!

SUNDAY
Hot, hot, hot. It was officially the first day of AC usage as the weather touched the 80s. While my wife went to work, I took mom-in-law home. I hit a bike trail out in Portage, then my wife and I decided to head out for a two-mile hike at Wicker Park. The real treat? We did NOT stop for ice-cream. It was awesome getting in all that exercise this weekend and I can't wait until the next heat wave hits.

Foto Friday 03

2011-04-08T05:21:00.003-05:00

I call this "Modern Warhol."

Not much else to say, right? Have a great weekend, everyone!!!

The Foundry Report

2011-04-07T04:53:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I started a new creative project within Star Trek Online.

As I believe I mentioned earlier, Cryptic Studios recently added a game-building tool to the massively multiplayer online game. Players now have the opportunity to create their own content. Using a proprietary system now built into the game, called The Foundry, players can add their own dialog and situations, locations and scenarios, and really write their own episode of Star Trek.

Hey. I'm a huge fan of STO, a re-budding writer, and a diehard Trekkie (at least until the Star Wars game releases later this year).

I'm 'onna have some fun.

See you tomorrow! Oh.... Is it FotoFriday already? Yay!!!

Contact Liftoff

2011-04-05T04:55:00.002-05:00

Okay, drum roll....

I threw out three pair of contact lenses because of a film that developed after only 3 days or so. Well, I called yesterday to complain and was told, "You're not soaking them long enough," and "They need to soak in Opti Free and nothing else."

Well, I re-soaked my latest lenses about 11 hours in Opti-Free now.

So, let's see if the "blow off" was really a "blow off."

...

Well, no dice. No duh.

I'm going to give the new set of lenses another chance, assuming the ones I lost were "too late to save." Knowing what I know now, and following the orders of the OptiFolks, this should be a no-brainer, right?

Weekend Report

2011-04-04T05:08:00.002-05:00

FRIDAY
Ahhhh, a warm dryer. On Friday, we had a visit from our friendly neighborhood appliance repair guy. Our dryer was fixed in less than 10 minutes and it only cost about $60. That was better than if I tried to do it myself. I'm sure the DIY approach would have put me in the hospital, we'd have dryer parts all over the basement, and there'd be nothing to say about Saturday and Sunday.

SATURDAY
Laundry day! Yeah, I know, exciting. As you may have guessed, laundry had piled up without a dryer for nearly a week. Beyond that, I spent part of the wonderful-weather day at my computer setting up a site for the new blognovel. I wanted to be out and about but really had no reason. Melanie was stuck inside as well, working on taxes. So, big sigh and scratch that one off the list. Saturday night we snuggled in and watched The Lost Boys. Boy, that was a call back to the 80s!

SUNDAY
House work. I cleaned, and I exchanged storm windows for screens. Not much else. It was kind of a busted weekend considering the weather. I can't wait to get my bike prepped.

THIS WEDNESDAY
Yeah, I know. It's not a weekend-day. But I wanted to announce a change to my spidering for the week. Star Trek Online (my crack for the past year) recently released The Foundry, the episode-creation tool for players. Essentially, it enables players to create and publish their own episodes. It's the reason I first got into STO and I'm not giving up now. So, every Wednesday, instead of blogging on the Spider, I'll be writing a script and applying it to my STO adventure.

I'll make a deal with you, though. Once my story is published, I'll also publish it here -- with screen shots! How's that sound?

Have a great week, folks! See you tomorrow.

Foto Friday 02

2011-04-01T05:10:00.002-05:00

Thank you to CamWow, the free iPhone app that comes with some sweet tricky "lenses" for your iPhone camera, for today's Foto Friday entry.

I call it "Gotcha." It's an artistic view of my wife playing with her new smartphone in bed. The "Gotcha" comes with a smile. She used to pester me about checking my iPhone before going to bed, so.... Gotcha, honey.

CPAP Day is Here!

2011-03-31T05:49:00.003-05:00

No bridge builders, huh? Or should I say bridge bulders, since I typo'd that heading yesterday. Boy, is my face read.

Tee to the hee.

Today is NEW CPAP day! I'm excited beyond belief. Actually, I wouldn't go that far, but I am happy and relieved. Ahh, to sleep in comparative comfort with a constant source of oxygen. My heart pumpeth with glee.

Let's see, what else? Oh! The week is flying by, isn't it? Tomorrow is Foto Friday, so that will be fun. And, April begins another NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month). You know what that means? It means I'll actually have something to talk about on these things.

That's the hardest part about blogging, and another reason why my podcast never got off the ground. It's not easy to come up with something every day that you can't just vomit into a tweet.

Ya know?

Have a great day, folks!

Build a Bridge!

2011-03-30T05:18:00.003-05:00

Ah...

I'm just too tired to blog this morning. Can you do it for me?

Seriously. I have a blog called "The Book Bridging Blog." I forget the exact eblogger name, but you can find the link on my homepage www.michaelrigg.com. Basically, what I do is take two completely different book passages and blend them together into one story.

I haven't done that in awhile. When you find a moment, send me a couple excerpts. You can e-mail them to me at riggenterprises@gmail.com, or you can just reply here. No, I don't publish comments, but I'll make an exception for this.

The only rule is to match the person. Whether it's first person or third, make sure your excerpts match. You can find more on the BBB.

Come on. Try me.

Deadline Set for Brass Heart

2011-03-29T05:12:00.002-05:00

Ok, so the good news is I have been keeping up with the Spider since I re-energized her. Now it's time to get back on that writing horse with something novel-sized.

I put out the cover design contest, and a couple of snippets to whet your appetite. Now what?

Well, if you're working on your cover design(s), you have about a month to get your submissions in. I'm going to start publishing through michaelrigg.com by May 1.

The rest of you, get comfy. And get ready for the tale of Bryce and the voiceless woman from the tower. Ooooooh, I have so many cool surprises in store.

Weekend Report

2011-03-28T05:19:00.003-05:00

Not good. Not good at all.

Well, a slight exaggeration, but still; did not like this weekend.

For starters, I think I'm sick, or was sick, or am on the verge of becoming sick. My stomach has been torn up since Thursday night and that stayed with me all weekend. It didn't help that I didn't eat well this weekend. Pizza on Friday and way too much spaghetti (oh, and ice-cream) Saturday. Ech. I can just feel it.

I had a great time Friday. Got together with my old high school and college buddies. We laughed our asses off watching movies we made 25 years ago when we thought we were going to be the next Spielbergs. Then we played XBOX Kinect. It was a damn good time. Lots of fun and we'll have to do that again.

Saturday was productive but seemed extremely short. My wife and I finished the basement: painting and rearranging furniture to set up a nice 'workout room.' The bad news (that haunts me still) is that our dryer gave out.

So, Sunday found me dismantling, cleaning, and re-mantling our dryer to no effect what-so-ever. I still can't fix things. I'd even say that given the right tools it would be in worse shape than it is. As it stands, I still had to use tape to hold the front panel together after I reattached it. What an ass pain!

And now.... It's Monday. It only gets better from here, right?

Foto Friday 01

2011-03-25T05:48:00.004-05:00

Hi! Well, let's see how this goes. I always take a blog break over the weekend but usually drop a good topic for Friday like a bad habit. By the end of the week I'm just too 'meh' to want to blog about anything and I'm already looking ahead to the Weekend Update on Monday.

Not anymore. Let's try this:

I call it "Bloody Throwback."

I may have blogged on my love of the Sugarpop before. I know I praised the "alleged good for you" (and terminated) Coke-fulla-vitamins. I may also have talked about my lust for Throwback, the Pepsi of the '70s -- Made with (gasp) REAL SUGAR instead of processed syrup junk.

I have to say that since I've been eating healthier and drinking A LOT LESS cola, (and clear soda too for that matter), even the thought of a Pepsi Throwback makes me cringe like I've been strapped to a chair and forced to watch The Human Centipede while eating cold Alfredo.

This photo came about when I -- symbolically, I admit -- used an old PT bottle as my reusable water bottle. Well, one day I added some raspberry tea flavor powder BEFORE filling my bottle. A little shake and, boom, stage blood.

I couldn't help think of the irony. My faulty heart, which pumps my blood, which appears inside a former vice.

Sigh. It's good to be gettin' healthy.

Bye-bye, bloody pop.

Tomorrow is Foto Friday!

2011-03-24T05:43:00.002-05:00

Okie dokey....

Well, I hope yesterday's post got your Heart pumpin' for the coming of the Brass. I'm excited about it. As you know, it's been awhile since I've had a blognovel project rolling, so I'm excited.

As for this blog, I've also been considering ramping it up a bit. As you may also know, part of the reason I've been keeping it up so much is that I've cut out the time I would normally spend popping in a Photoshop piece of eye candy.

Well, I'm bringin' it back! Every Friday -- which I've deemed FotoFriday -- I'll feature a picture I've taken on my phone, or a piece of Photoshop work I've done. *Shrug* and *meh* It's somethin', right?

See you tomorrow. Now get to work on that cover! ;)

A Novel Teaser!

2011-03-23T05:19:00.003-05:00

Okay, cover designers, here's a little more for you.

I decided to go ahead and post up a couple of snippets of the new novel to give you a 'feel' for the voices and maybe a sniff of the atmosphere. And, yes, you're not mistaken, the story is written in two voices. Odd numbered chapters are from the perspective of the main character, even from the third person point of view of those around her. It works for James Patterson.

Anyway, here you go. I hope you enjoy. Please keep in mind that these clips (from chapters 1 and 2) are pre-first draft. Names and other things may change before the re-write into the blog site (to be named).

For details about the COVER DESIGN CONTEST, please see www.michaelrigg.com.

Have fun!

Main characters mentioned:
Woman: as yet unnamed. The main character of the story
Captain Bryce Landers: A young 'Southern Gentleman' from Virginia with charm and accent to match.
Lucien Howard: A potbellied Englishman, the butler of Bryce's father.

BRASS HEART
(excerpt)
(working title for the romantic-fantasy-steampunk blognovel)
by Michael J. Rigg

My eyes opened to bright sunlight, a chill, dampness, and the screams of women and shouts of men.

My arms and legs couldn't move. The skin of my limbs and neck were filled with cold lead but I could tell from the chilled air rushing across my body that I was naked. I closed my eyes again, willing the apparition away, but I had no touch with reality. I had no memory. I had no name.

Barely turning my head, I could see that I was on a galvanized metal platform of some kind, rusty black with spots and stains of extinguished cigars or cigarettes and islands of chewed gum that had long since been ground into the plate around me. An iron gridwork with bronze and brass fixtures for lights, plackards and shingles of ornate signs with fancy lettering served as my ceiling though I couldn't focus enough to read them.

Beyond all this, to my right was sky. Clear, azure without a single cloud and thrumming with the distant vibration of what appeared to be scores of flying machines. Small motorized balloons, biplanes, and winged bicycles kept their unseen lanes of traffic out beyond my metal horizon, too distant for me to see their riders and pilots. In the foreground, closer to me, stretched a long angled flag pole topped with an eagle. A huge flag the size of a bedsheet flapped in the heavy high-altitude wind that whipped by. The flag held a field of white stars on midnight blue in the upper left corner, the rest was as red as the inside of my eyeslids when I closed them against the brightness.

To my left a woman screamed again. Another said, "Shocking!" Still another with a pronounced English accent exclaimed,"Did anyone see where she came from? Who she was with?"

I wish I had those answers myself. My eyes scrunched closed as I struggled to come up with anything, even my name.

__________

Bryce Landers stepped out through the revolving door of Thorne and Wolfe and strode out to the broad yellow band that warned pedestrians that they were getting too close to the edge of the tower platform. An airship cruised by belching black smoke, steam and bristling with gun turrets and masts.

"The HMS Independence," shouted the voice of Lucien Howard above the clanking rumble of the ship as it glided by. Lucien stepped up behind Bryce and tucked his pipe stem between his puffy lips, then struck a match to light it, cupping the flame to keep the high altitude cross-breeze from snuffing it out. "Beautiful, is she not?"

Ignoring the observation, Bryce winced and drawled, "I don't understand why my father sent me all the way up to New York to see to contracts that he himself had settled. He knows I'm against them."

"It's a show of force, my boy," Lucien said puffing on the pipe. "You're Captain Landers, the renowned hero of the Mason-Dixon war, the strongest and wisest of your brothers." He removed the pipe and clapped a meaty hand on Bryce's shoulder. When he spoke again his voice carried the commitment and dedication for the Landers family but also the consolation of a friend "What's more, you know your father hates to travel. And, he thought it would be good for that weasel Yankee Thorne to see a soldier across the table."

"More of daddy's saber-rattlin'," Bryce smirked. "If he can't fight no more, Lucien, he ought to try peace and stop pushin' others to the front lines. Besides," Bryce groused, "We are at peace, not war. We licked the Yankees several times over. We got our rights and our freedom a century ago. We acquired the Mexican territories and tariffs in southern Europe. Why not let it lie? If daddy wants to start somethin' with Thorne, he's goin' to lead us into a global war startin' right here with the Imperial United States and all over what? Some stupid square of saltwater property that ain't worth the fish beneath it."

Leaning close, his voice lowering just enough to be heard above the fading airship's motors, Lucien said, "Now you look here. Everything your father worked for is out there under those waves. If you can't secure the Norfolk Locks Thorne's company will take the properties on default. And if that happens--"

Bryce knew the valet was speaking as much from the perspective of his own job security as the well-being of the Landers family, but he hid his smirk from the man as he continued to stare out at the cityscape and the Atlantic beyond. "If that happens, the empire will own everything from California to the Ukraine. So what?" Bryce lifted his shoulders and let them fall. "The alternative is that father stands on his claim, doesn't take the money, and we end up losin' lives defending that water-logged target, or worse yet, everything."

Lucien started to speak, but Bryce kept at it. "And, yes, Lucien, it is a target. If father gets the contract on the Atlantic territories it will only take one hit from an imperial submarine to end it all. You think insurance will cover an act of war?"

"Look, my boy, your father--"

And that's when the screaming started.

Weekend Report (Plus Monday)

2011-03-22T05:36:00.003-05:00

*Sigh*

Sorry for missing a day. I know I promised to keep up with my blog. It was just an up-and-down weekend and I'm having to weigh what I can talk about as not all of it involves me.

But here's the part that does:

I had another bout of A-Fib this past weekend. It was 3:05 a.m. on Sunday morning when I woke to go to the bathroom. The fibby set in and wouldn't let me get back to sleep. My lovely wife stayed up with me and listened to my heartbeat try to thump back into normal for about an hour, then I was fine.

I know what caused it. Up late again. We had gone to a bar and I ate something fried followed by three large 7Ups. I didn't realize 7Up was just as bad as regular carmel-colored soda, but I guess it is. Gah.

Monday, however, was much better. I ate well (read: properly) and I had a nice 40-minute brisk walk covering a mile and a half. That gave me a natural high I was riding on for awhile.

Tuesday morning now. I woke slowly but with a bit of an 'up' heartbeat, but I think I'm doing okay. I just need more days like Monday.

And how often does someone say that?

Results are in

2011-03-18T05:52:00.002-05:00

I'm.... not completely happy.

My new cardiologist was frank, straight forward, and severe. He hit me hard and fast and left me bummed. I hate going to the doctor to receive the long stream of reminders of how old I am, how fat I am, and how short my life is. As this dealt primarily with my heart, it hit harder than normal.

I really need some cheering-up time.

So, I still have not been given anything to address my arrhythmia directly. Instead, I got yet another blood pressure pill. Pills don't bother me. It's what they treat that does. In this case, my BP, which remains high even with 3 pills working together (now a fourth), remains sky high.

According to the doctor, he doesn't want to treat the arrhythmia directly with my BP so high, especially since my heart rate is always normal (an anti-arrhythmic will tend to lower my heart rate -- like I'm not sleepy enough during the day).

The DRASTIC assault at the arrhythmia would be something called Ablation (Google it). Essentially, they'd laser tracks in my heart to 'steer' the electrical pulses that make it pump. This is definitely a last-resort and something I wouldn't consider unless my A-Fib became a regular, uncomfortable, daily occurrence.

For now, I'm going to work on keeping myself calm, exercising, eating right, and saying good-bye forever to old vices. No more alcohol, caffeine, smoke, or sex with random Vietnamese prostitutes.

I'm kidding. I don't smoke.

The Man You've All Been Waiting For

2011-03-16T18:47:00.003-05:00

And then a drum roll plays in my mind.

Tomorrow morning I'm off to meet my cardiologist -- this time without wires and tubes coming out of me -- to go over the complaining muscle in my rib cage.

I'm writing this entry tonight for that very reason. Because, while I'll have time to write in the morning, I know tomorrow will be a big day. I may very well try to sleep in.

Never fear, however. I will report the findings and experiences of the day in Friday's end-of-week randing. Then, of course, will be a follow-up of the weekend on Monday.

Oh, before I forget (and isn't it weird when people actually write stuff like that as though you're having a conversation?) The DEADLINE for cover designs for "Brass Heart" is APRIL 30. So, get moving. I want to get the novel rolling by then!

More later. I'll probably post a snippet from the book on Monday.

If I remember. Low oxygen. Bad heart. It makes me forget stuff.

Sleep in Heavenly Peace

2011-03-16T05:40:00.002-05:00

Had my sleep study yesterday.

It wasn't bad. I don't mind it. Not even the 12 or so wires they connect to my head and 12 more to my body. I can sleep through anything and it doesn't take long for me to nod off.

The only thing really grueling about it was the quarter-inch thick mound of paperwork where I had to sign at least 20 times and re-enter the same damn information over and over and over. What really kills me about these things -- and the same is true of hospitals -- is that after you go through all that they send someone in to ask you the same things all over again.

*Sigh*

Well. I got through it. It wasn't bad, except for waking up in the middle of the night when my CPAP mask came off and cold air was blowing in my eyes. After an adjustment and a hard time falling back to sleep, it finally settled and I slept through until 6. Granted, I didn't get to sleep until 11 and the last half of it was restless, but still.

So now we wait and see what happens when I get a new machine. Hopefully it'll come with a new lease on life.

How about you? How've you been? Where are my cover designs? ;)

Have an awesome day.

Weekend Report

2011-03-14T05:19:00.002-05:00

It's been an up-and-down weekend, with a little testing of my heart's capabilities. No, I wasn't doing any extensive working out. In fact, I dropped the weightlifting because my schedule was so chaotic.

And, no, it wasn't because of the time change either.

Due to the fact I can't consume caffeine, alcohol, nicotine or second-hand smoke, the couple of parties my wife was attending this weekend were solo flights for her. I had to stay clear. So, instead, I played the happy designated cabbie.

Saturday night I was up until around 3 a.m., saw the time change happen (nothing like a ball drop), and slept without my CPAP machine. I was fine all weekend. No problems or complaints.

Tonight I report to the hospital for my sleep study and tomorrow I have off (I took off work because I figured I'd need some time to actually sleep. Sleep studies aren't 'fun and you usually need to, well, get some sleep when they're done).

Prayers....

2011-03-11T06:18:00.002-06:00

...Out to Japan.

Fingers crossed for Hawaii and Cali.

May God look over and protect those effected by this terrible tragedy.

Idolizing Idols

2011-03-10T05:03:00.002-06:00

I never was really one of those "American Idol" nuts. In fact, I've never really been that fanatical over any TV series that runs more than four hours a week.

But I'm following it this year for two reasons: I've got money on it. And, I'm actually liking it.

I can't say for sure who the winner's going to be yet, but I do have some favorites. See if you agree with me. And, if you're not an Idolizer, come back tomorrow. I'll be talking about something else then.

Rigg's Idol Faves (in order based on last night's performance):

CASEY ABRAMS
PIA TOSCANO (surprising, because she wasn't one of my favorites until last night)
JAMES DURBIN (again, surprising, because up until last night, I thought he was too much like Adam Lambert)
NAIMA ADEDAPO (one of my running favorites and, even though she had breathing issues, her moves were star quality)
JACOB LUSK (down a couple of notches only because I thought he came out too high and ended up screaming)
SCOTTY MCREERY (didn't like the song and his voice is too 'nitchy'. also follows as I'm not a twang-Country fan)
THIA MEGIA (I thought the jazzy change-up was good. Pitchy, I agree, but good)
PAUL MCDONNALD (way down. sorry, but the combination of his silly 'skipping' and the fact his soft voice seemed to be more laughy-spoken than sung brings him down a bit)
HALEY REINHART (her rendition of "Blue" had some awkward spots, I thought, but she killed me on the last three notes)
STEFANO LANGONE
LAUREN ALAINA
ASHTON JONES
KAREN RODRIGUEZ

Sorry. Those final four weren't "bad," just forgetable.

I promised

2011-03-09T05:31:00.002-06:00

I just don't know what to blog about today. But, I promised that I would keep at it, that I would keep you all up-to-date with my writing and general musings of life.

... (sound of crickets) ...

All I can do this morning, however, is shrug. I'm at a loss. I'll have to keep notes today, and I promise I'll bring you more tomorrow.

Maybe I just need to take an extra dose of Charlie Sheen.

Charlie Killed My Firefox

2011-03-08T05:28:00.002-06:00

Well, I had a nice long rant about the insanity of Charlie Sheen.

I know you've heard it all, but you haven't heard it from me. Anyway, it was brilliant and funny and not at all crazy -- unlike the aforementioned Sheen.

Then, right at the end of my typing, BAM. Firefox crapped on me. That's happened so frequently that I am changing my rant. I'm going back to Internet Explorer. I guess I'd rather wait 3 minutes for each page to load rather than risk losing everything.

Just glad the crash didn't happen in the middle of "Brass Heart," since I've been doodling chapters of the new book in my e-mail.

Weekend Report

2011-03-07T05:12:00.004-06:00

Well, top of the page, I'd like to proudly beam over the fact that I finished chapter one of the tentatively titled Brass Heart. The new blognovel has grown legs rather quickly and I should have no problem getting her rolling sooner than expected.

Along those lines, I've also started getting cover designs for the cover design contest. All I'll say is: inspiring. The contest is still going on, and you can enter as often as you like.

Friday night I treated my wife to "Purple Date." We'd just gotten Purple Rain on Blu-Ray and decided to turn it into a date. We had dinner at the Purple Steer, we dressed in purple, we watched the movie, then had ice cream. It was a great time and the movie brought back a lot of memories of the 80s. The only thing I don't miss about the decade? The hair.

In health news, I had another semi-big Atrial Fibrillation attack this weekend. Saturday morning I woke up at 1 a.m. with a high-speed ticker. My BP was up but my heart's pace soon slowed and just kept skipping beats. I decided not to go to the hospital and dredge through the same old aspirin treatment. That made for a rather lazy Saturday as I was worn out and wanted to take it easy to see if there would be any aftershocks. There were a couple skips in the day, but all in all the day ended fine. We played Rockband and bought about $10 worth of songs. My wife and daughter sang duets while I sat it out. Around 11pm I was feeling the heart tug to get some sleep. I hate getting old.

Sunday was pleasant. Got out of the house and ran some errands with my wife. Ended the day playing a videogame. Hit the sack at 10.

This morning I'm anxious to get the week rolling. I'm more anxious to see my doctor on the 17th and my sleep study on the 14th. In the meantime, I've got a blognovel to work on and a life to live.

Would you believe...

2011-03-04T05:23:00.004-06:00

...I had a whole blog written and Firefox bombed on me?

Since when does your browser just plain quit?

I swear it's enough to get me to switch to the much-maligned I.E.

Well, I'm not going to try to recreate what I wrote, but I won't leave you wondering. Here's a brief synopsis: My wife and I watched American Idol last night, two of the people cut were very talented but acted like asses earlier in the season, it's my opinion that America voted them out because of their attitudes or the way they treated others.

And that's why I'll never be an ass.

BLOGNOVEL UPDATE:
The cover design contest is on! See previous Spiders or go to michaelrigg.com for details.

Cover Design Contest!!!

2011-03-02T05:19:00.003-06:00

For those of you who were still smirking and wondering whether or not I was really going to start writing a new blognovel or not--and give me credit, I've been going pretty steadily on the Baby Blue Spider--it's time to pay up.

I wrote the first 577 words yesterday.

I really wanted to see if the 'voice' was still there, whether or not I could carry the words, and if I could transition out of the flash RP fiction I had been writing for the past year back into the long-form of the novel. In the words of a famous train: I think I can.

So, since I'm rolling, I'd like to offer up a COVER DESIGN CONTEST!

NEW BLOGNOVEL COVER DESIGN CONTEST

What You Need To Know:
1) Title. "Brass Heart"
2) Setting. I can't give too much away, but imagine something pulling and/or combining from this list:
BRONZE, BRASS, IRON, STEEL, STEAM, STEAM PUNK, COAL, 1920s, PARISOL, CIVIL WAR, PARCHMENT, AIRSHIPS, STEAM PIPES, SMOKE STACKS, CONFEDERACY.
Unique image: American flag but with a solid red field where the stripes would be.
3) The cover can be as simple as a background with type, or you can create a background based on the keywords above.
4) Typestyle: Use a font that would have been popular in the early 1900s.
5) "Brass Heart" will be a Fantasy Steam Punk Romance set in an alternate reality.

How You Need To Create And Enter:
1) Create a 72dpi JPEG (JPG) image in the dimensions of a soft cover book (roughly 5x7).
2) E-mail your cover to me at riggenterprises@gmail.com. Subject line: "COVER CONTEST"
3) You can send as many entries as you like.

What You Get If You Win:
1) Mention in the book's acknowledgments (carried over into the audio and print versions if it goes there).
2) A character in the book. You can choose to have the character named after you, or you can name him/her yourself. Obviously, there will be limitations. "Darth Vader," for example, would not be a good idea. We can discuss it further when you win. You can even decide if your character lives or dies.
3) A write-up about your talents on MichaelRigg.com and the Baby Blue Spider, so if you're a graphic designer by trade, this is a chance for you to get some free press!
4) NOTE: If the name changes ("Brass Heart" is a temporary title), I may ask you to revise based on the new title. Keep that in mind ;)

Entries are due when I'm ready to launch the new blognovel site. Stay tuned here to find out when I get closer.

THANKS FOR PLAYING!

Eureka! II: The Wrath of Eureka

2011-03-01T05:17:00.002-06:00

Those of you who follow my twitter stream or facebook plotz know that I had a Eureka! teaser yesterday.

Well, I have good news for my fans out there. That's right. Both of you.

The new blognovel has a ghostline.

What's a ghostline? Well, it's like an outline but not nearly as rigid. It's like the outline for the idea of an outline. Bottom line (and that's a lot of lines), I am closer to blognovel lift-off.

Here's what's left to be done before you can start reading:
1) Cover art. I'm going to sketch out something or Photoshop something together. That's important because it'll be the cover of the site. It's also ongoing inspiration for me. When I write a blognovel I always slap my cover design on my computer's desktop to keep me thinking about it.
2) The site itself. I'll need to come up with a name, then slap it on a blog site.
3) Head start. I want to write ahead and at least be two chapters ahead of my posts. The blognovel itself will be updated once per week -- probably Wednesdays -- with a new chapter appearing first thing each Wednesday morning. Having the lead will give me the ability to backtrack a bit if I need to change something on the fly (remember: ghostline), and it will help to cover my butt if I get stuck or hung up.

Sound good?

See you soon.

Eureka!

2011-02-28T05:18:00.003-06:00

I am SO excited.

What would be bringing me so much mirth so early in the morning as I prepare my day? Is it the announcement of a new Star Trek series? No. Is it that Spring has finally Sprung? No. Is it that I had all my money on The King's Speech for Best Picture? Nope. Is it because I was the "love" Natalie Portman was referring to in her acceptance speech? Nah.

The entire first chapter of my forthcoming blognovel is in my head and sticky.

I was grocery shopping with my wife (I don't usually, but I did this time and really should make a habit of it if this is the result) when I let my mind wander somewhere between baked goods and pot roast, it all started falling into place.

I'm not going to reveal anything because, as we all know, Rule of Writing Number Two states: Never TELL your story. WRITE your story.

So, when do I begin? Soon, my friends. I need to set up the site for the blog. I need to design something appropriate for the cover. And I need to do some exercises to get my characters to find their voices.

I can promise you this: It will be different.

Taglongs are my Crack

2011-02-25T05:05:00.001-06:00

I'll admit it. I have a softness for the luscious peanut-buttery flavor of those deliciously-crunchy chocolate cookies known as the Girl Scout's very own Tagalongs.

Pardon me. Getting a glass of milk.

Ages 45 to 65, I cannot be turned down

2011-02-24T05:21:00.002-06:00

So, I'm walking through my living room. The TV was on as I passed from hall to kitchen and my mind wasn't so much on the idiot box as it was the sandwich I was about to prepared.

"...ages 45 to 65 you cannot be turned down regardless of health..."

"What!?"

I stopped and turned as I heard the words. Sure enough, it was one of those commercials. You know the kind. A group of white-haired old men standing on a golf green. A blue-haired old lady being tenderly cared for by a nurse who appears more happy than she realistically would be. The scenes have color reminiscent of a Tide commercial, everything is bright and happy, and an actor posing as a "real doctor" in a lab coat -- or a washed-up blue-haired actor from the Lloyd Bridges era -- talks about the miracle insurance options.

But wait. I'm 45!

I just spent a summer raving on my bicycle and how I was really getting into sports more and more. Should I really exchange my two-wheeled road-rager for a set of clubs? Wow. Age 45 to 65, I can't be turned down.

Huh. I wonder what Matlock's up to these days.

The Swirling Storm

2011-02-23T05:07:00.003-06:00

I have a solid kick-off for this blognovel I mentioned earlier. There's an idea in my mind that surrounds the lead character, a very specific notion that could lead to a story.

All I need to do now is come up with some supporting characters and an adversary of some type. This is all right on the periphery of my creative thought. Once it coalesces, I'll be all over it like ants on a three-day-old spilled Coke.

By the way. Anyone else terrified by that Suzuki commercial where the snowmen are chasing down the car? Maahh!

Yeah, I kind of feel like the guy in the car right now and the snowmen are the things I've been neglecting. My fans. My writing. My health.

But, and I motion loosely toward this page, as you can see I'm working at it.

It's a strange day

2011-02-22T05:04:00.004-06:00

My stepson is moving to California today. Chicago will be without a daily Daley. Earthquakes in New Zealand, protests around the world, aspirin upsets my stomach.

Oh, the humanity.

Barricaded in the Man Cave

2011-02-21T05:08:00.003-06:00

What a weekend!

Yeah, I know, I didn't keep up with the blog like I promised. I know I didn't reveal anything new about the pending blognovel project. I didn't even update my Me-And-Alanis profile picture on facebook.

So what did I do?

Well, the cat was away, so I ate cheese like a happy mouse. The translation? My wife was away on a weekend-long Scrapbooking Excursion, so I locked myself in my office (aka. "Man Cave") and surrounded myself with computer games and BAD television courtesy SyFy, G4 and Spike networks. Speaking of which, when did those networks decide that a marathon of Cops was good television? Meh.

So, yeah. The $50 in Girl Scout cookies was decimated, but water was saved as I went without showering. It. Was. Bliss.

In a disgusting, locked-alone-in-a-smelly-room kind of way.

In reflection? I'm glad to be showered and back on track. The brain was emptied and now is ready to be refilled. Happy Monday, everyone!

Oh, I can't wait to tell you

2011-02-20T08:19:00.001-06:00

What a weekend (and there's still a few hours to go).

Tune in tomorrow. Oh, boy.

And... NO, I didn't forget you ;)

The Next Project

2011-02-18T06:35:00.002-06:00

I want to start a new Blognovel.

I'm nodding as I write this, sure that I'm on the right path and getting back into the flow of my new normal morning writing ritual (say that five times fast).

But, yeah.... I think so. I really do.

I'm toying with the idea of generating the characters in my head and letting them write the story. The only thing I know for sure is 1) The novel will be accessible through MichaelRigg.com, and 2) There will be no outline and no planning, just a serialized novel project.

Once that starts, Spider entries will slow down -- or stop. But if you're looking here you should also be looking at my main page (the aforementioned MichaelRigg.com) -- so you won't miss a stroke of the pen.

Now.... On to the test. Can I maintain this blog over a weekend?

And the beat goes on

2011-02-17T06:00:00.003-06:00

Lost count already. What is it, day three? Remind me, some time, to devote a future Spider to my innumeracy. ;)

Every night when I go to bed and every morning when I awake, I wonder if I'm going to fall into A-Fib. So far, so good, and it only gets better and easier with each day that puts my last bout behind me.

Today I'll be talking to my doctor and finalizing my prescriptions. In the meantime, I move along....

So, how about that Steven Tyler? Shear genius of the American Idol producers to replace that caustic Brit with someone with a bit more humor and flare.

But more about that later. Have a great day, everyone!

Day 2

2011-02-16T05:18:00.002-06:00

Day two of my return and I'm feeling pretty good.

There's a strange feeling across my chest, like when when you work out hard for a couple days and your muscles get all bunchy and tight. It's from the workout my heart had, I'm sure. I basically just feel exhausted from my diaphragm to my neck. But I persevere. I survive. I look forward to the day I can wake up without fear of falling into immediate A-Fib.

Today I'm going to try, yet again, to get in touch with my doctor concerning the new Rxs I got while in the hospital. I need to know if it's overkill, particularly since I've managed to get my BP down near normal.

Well, oatmeal calls. Take care, everyone. See you on day 3.

The Amazing Return

2011-02-15T05:08:00.002-06:00

I have to be honest.

I never wanted to stop blogging; just like I never wanted to stop writing in general. It just so happened that it took a serious blow to my mortal coil to bring me back. That doesn't mean I'll have something worth writing about every day, but I certainly won't disappear for five months or more.

For those of you following the Spider--and thank you so much for all the offers to try your male enhancement pills; I will respond to all 547 of your responses, Anonymous--welcome to your 'oh yeah, that guy' moment.

So, what happened? Where have I been? Why return? And, most importantly, why should you believe I'd be back to stay?

Wow. So many questions. Give me a sec.

Well, as to what happened to take me away, all I can say is I've been distracted by a long-running fan-flash-fic writing project (or series of projects) that have taken all of my writing time (and more). As to what happened to bring me back: two hospital stays in six weeks involving a heart that decided it would be more fun to vibrate rather than pump.

As to why I should return?

Because this is truly what I love to do. I may lack the mechanical skills at times. I may be the worst speller in the greater western hemisphere. But the fact remains that I love telling stories and even if one person appreciates that, I have to do what I love. What else is there?

As to why you should stick with me?

There's no real reason I can give you. The whims of an artist or writer can never be nailed down to anything specific. Stephen King will never stop writing and Margaret Mitchell stopped at one. All I can do is shrug and hope you'll be around for my full-fledged return.

All I can say to those who have supported me with blurbs on Facebook and prods in e-mail.... Is thank you.

Bump

2010-09-14T05:49:00.000-05:00

Hey! I just wrote a new blog entry!
Here.

Shoo! Go Away!

2010-09-09T05:33:00.002-05:00

The Baby Blue Spider is leaving.

I have a Web site, and a blog. It's always kind of annoyed me that I hit myself with, "Ok, great blog entry! Now... what am I going to say on the site?"

God bless eblogger for giving us free space, but I'm paying for my site, so.... I'm afraid it's time to say good-bye here.

I'll make a few transitioning posts, with links to my site. In the meantime, I encourage you to go ahead now and update your bookmarks.

Here's where you'll want to go from now on: MichaelRigg.com

An Era Past its Time Must End

2010-09-08T05:33:00.002-05:00

Don't panic.

That's the first rule of Bite Club.

I have to bite the bullet. I'm closing down the "Spider." I've been thinking about this long and hard -- well, for the last fifteen minutes anyway -- and I've decided to close down my blog....

And move it to my Web site!

I figured there's no point in having both, and since I'm PAYING for my Web site, I figured I might as well blog up on that one, right?

Tell me I'm crazy.

Boom, thump thump boom

2010-09-03T05:46:00.003-05:00

Oh, I've got such a headache.

Don't you hate it when you get one of those headaches that coincides with a song stuck in your head. It throbs and pulses with the beat and you keep hearing the same damn lyrics over-and-over-and....

Thank God it's Friday, though I have to admit....

I thought yesterday was Friday.

And no, it's not Bonnie Tyler.

Even in the 80s she looked like a grandma

2010-09-02T05:46:00.004-05:00

Okay, in an effort to continue writing every day, I've decided to keep the Baby Blue Spider going EVEN IF I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.

Well, I got nothin'.

You know what I hate?

That Bonnie Tyler song, "Total Eclipse of the Heart."

It's friggin' creepy. Don't get me wrong, I liked the song. It's got a good beat to it, yadda yadda yadda, but what's with this...?

Gloth sits on the table cloth

2010-09-01T05:51:00.003-05:00

The hump.

It's back again.

It's that demon made of flesh and butter, rolling noodles like lovemaking worms, just slobbering and vomiting Alfredo sauce.

Esch.

I'm talking, of course, about weight. Mine's back up since vacation. And, of course, I expected that. It was a nice, cushy week where my wife and I didn't think about anything -- least of all ourselves. We just did what we wanted, ate what we wanted. Didn't even care what we were doing to ourselves.

Self-destruction. Now that's a vacation.

Yesterday, I got back on my bike. I can feel it coming back, although I can see where the demon sinks its talons. The bastard had my mind going: "There's something wrong with my chain," "Is it supposed to wobble like that?" "What's that clicking noise?" "You should stop now and rest."

Oh, demon. I name thee Gloth. There. I took away your power.

Twurbs

2010-08-31T05:38:00.002-05:00

I'm getting back on the horse, little by little.

I still have other obligations that are pulling at me, keeping me from the Great Novel Write of 2011 (figured I might as well call it that as we're already creeping up on Fall of 2010).

As you may have noticed, I'm coming up slowly. First, re-introducing the Baby Blue Spider, getting back into my blog little by little. Three entries in four weekdays. Not bad. Still, they're nothing more than Twurbs (Twitter Blurbs) with no art, but they're something.

At least I'm no longer ignoring it.

Now.... Where did I put that birthday picture.

Where to begin?

2010-08-27T06:41:00.002-05:00

I completely missed my 45th birthday.

Well, as far as blogging about it is concerned. I'll have to do that next -- bring up my time lapse photography and see how I've degraded over the past few years. ;)

I'm still coming down off vacation, so it's a wonder I can blog at all.

But, if this is any indication -- the fact I'm here now, you can trust that I'm back, baby.

I'm back.

Bling Bling... Who's There?

2010-08-26T06:02:00.004-05:00

So my family and I just returned from an awesome vacation in Myrtle Beach, SC. If you ever get the chance, I highly recommend you try it. Great food, awesome weather, the beach. What's not to love? Of course a lot of my amore for the SC is directed toward my sister Patty. It was her and hubby Al's hospitality that really sealed the deal.

The highlight for me -- just coming off my 45th birthday -- was my first rebellious act of my mid-life crises.

I got my ear pierced.

Not long ago I had toyed with the idea, and often found myself fondling my lobe and pinching it to try to determine if there would be a huge amount of pain or not. Of course pinching your earlobe and ramming a steel rod through it are two different things.

You'd be surprised. I felt nothing.

Click. Done.

Of course I wouldn't say the experience is completely pain-free. About an hour after having it done, I asked my lovely wife what I was supposed to do to take care of it. She told me I'd have my starter stud for about 6 weeks before being able to change it (Goody! There was a set of dangling cocktail earrings I've been wanting!! - kidding), and that I would have to "rotate" it every once in a while.

Rotate it? Oh, twist it! Not a problem.

YEEEOOOWWWW! The first couple of turns had me wincing and cringing. I wouldn't necessarily call it 'pain' but it was definitely uncomfortable until the swelling went down.

Then of course there was the night a bug buzzed my ear, I'd forgotten the earring, and when my fingers felt it my brain went "BUG!" and I pulled at it. Yeah, that made it puffy for awhile.

So how does 45 feel?

A lot like 46, actually.

Where.... am I?

2010-08-25T06:09:00.001-05:00

Wow.... Talk about a coma.

Crawling from the primordial slime, the writer slowly gains his strength. Old flesh and blackened ooze slide from his bare back as he pushes to the surface, no longer destined to become oil of future eons....

I've been away. Writing, believe it or not.

And now I'm coming back!

(crickets)

Hello? Anybody out there?

What would be on your OML?

2010-04-01T20:13:00.002-05:00

You know. OML. Omega Man List.

Ok, suspend disbelief for a moment and take this little journey with me. Imagine that you wake up one morning and you are the last man--or woman--alive on Earth. Everyone else is simply... gone. All your loved ones, your neighbors, your bosses. Everyone.

Now let's cut away the chaff of this experiment: Imagine the grieving period is over, the shouting and screaming for help has passed, the panic has subsided, even the lengthy bouts of tearful praying and wondering. And forget everything you learned from the After Man series on Discovery. Pretend there's plenty of electricity. It's a big blue Earth. And it's all yours.

What would you do? What would be on your list of things to try?
(Keep SOME realism alive, here. I, for example, would probably never try climbing a mountain or flying a plane. If I were to get hurt, who would come to my rescue? Plus, I don't want to die and waste an awesome opportunity like this one).

Here are some weird things that crossed my mind. See if you agree.

1) Go to work naked. All right, let me amend that: Go to work naked once I'm ABSOLUTELY SURE everyone's not going to suddenly "pop" back into existance.

2) Go to the IMAX and watch whatever movies I wanted, sitting in any seat I wanted.

3) Find the perfect home in the perfect state and move in. Decorate it however I wanted and surround myself with enough hobbies to keep me busy (instruments, computer equipment, etc.)

4) Go to Hollywood and reenact my favorite movies on the actual sets, playing each part in turn. Oh, yeah. I can do that. I have an imagination.

5) Write my novel. My way. Learn how to work a book binder and press. Publish it. Then I'd take it to every book store I could find and fill the shelves with it.

Or I could just cut straight to the chase and work on No. 5 right now.

Off to work.
Michael Rigg From my Writing Desk

The Monthly Spider (?)

2010-03-15T06:48:00.001-05:00

No.

I'll be back soon. I swear.

Crap! I shouldn't swear.

See ya soon.

Baubles of many shiny consistancies and how to collect them.

2010-02-15T21:10:00.010-06:00

Ain't she pretty?

The reference applies directly to the sparkly little bauble I've been playing with for the past month.

It's so easy to be distracted from the things that matter, only because the things that matter are always around you. That's why they matter. You know you can always count on them to be around you, to follow you, to set you back on course. You know the things that matter will allow you to wander away for a little while, that they'll understand that you need your "me time," or your "space," or your "guy time." That's why you love those things. The things that matter are unconditional.

But it helps to remember that when you're distracted. The past few weeks I've been honing my skills as a virtual starship captain as I get "into" my first MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game). Star Trek Online has allowed me to explore something I've been out of touch with since high school: the fact that I'm a Trekkie. And this game gives me the opportunity to revisit the feelings of my youth and to rub shoulders with others of "my kind." But at its base level it's just a computer game.

Sure, it's something shiny (and, so far, still new). It's cool. It's fun. I want to do it for hours. But I'm away from it now and feeling quite fine. No shakes. No jitters. No feelings of anxiety. Don't get me wrong. I can easily see why such things become so addicting. I have a theory, though, that such addictions really only latch onto those who are lacking depth in life. MMOs are definitely life-suckers to those with two-dimensional lives (and if you're reading this instead of playing "Warcraft," don't worry about it. You're fine).

I had a wonderful Valentine Saturday with my sweetheart this past weekend where all I thought about was her and the great time we were having. I didn't think about playing the game until much later in a finger-snap moment of "Oh, yeah. I can do that!" I tell you, that's better than the constant injection of the shiny thing. It's like Christmas morning every day--or every other day. It's that cool thing that you can always go to when you've had a bad day at work, can't sleep at night, or find yourself home alone while everyone else is out doing their own thing.

And, being the guilt-driven being that I am, I also figured out a way to weave my creativity into it so my writing wouldn't be totally wasted. I started a Web site for me and my friends and our "virtual fleet." The fleet is called "Task Force Fontana," named after D.C. Fontana, the award-winning novelist and writer of many historic Star Trek episodes. I've started a little "fan fic" by including a tab for "Personal Logs," and there are lots of "artsy" screen shots from the game.

If you want to check it out, here's the link. And, if you're a Trekkie playing "STO" yourself, drop me a line or reply to this post. We'll go blast Klingons together.

But don't expect to find me in-game very often. After all, I have a novel manuscript to finish and edit... and publish. I also have a wonderful wife, job, and a great family to care for. And those are some shiny things that I just love to keep polished.

It's a lucky man who has many hobbies to occupy his time. It's a blessed man who has a love with whom to share his loves.

And, as I write this I can't help but realize if I had a choice between playing the game this coming weekend or going back to the city with my wife, I say set phasers to off. Let's go to town!

Live long and prosper!
And remember to have a long, wonderful life filled with variety!

Michael

An Amazing Moment... Without The Murder

2010-01-22T21:20:00.003-06:00

Sometimes in life it's those little things that make your heart twinkle. You know what I mean? Tonight, for example, Melanie and I sank into a routine of preparing a dinner together. We laughed and joked, I used silly accents while I chopped up anything I could find to put into our salad. It was fantastic.

I spoke last time about how much my wife inspires me, and this was truly another one of those inspiring moments. It reminded me of the husband-wife moments you'll often find in a James Patterson novel. Usually, the happy--and financially loaded--couple are in their marble-countertopped kitchen feeding each other nibbles of expensive cheese and sipping wine while they stir up some shallots or some other equally-sounding ritzy side dish. They giggle and spank each other on the butt, tickle and wink. Then they end up in bed together and have the best post-dinner sex you can imagine (in novels the characters don't get gas when they exert themselves after eating). Then the husband rolls over and strangles the wife to death, or the wife presses the barrel of a .38 to the husband's temple and pulls the trigger--the resulting pop-blat from the pistol drowning out the spatter of blood and brain on the headboard.

Yeah, so it was like that--except for the actual James Patterson part.

I guess I should read more Nicholas Sparks books for moments like that.

However I end up comparing it, it was wonderful, and I can't wait to do it again tomorrow night.

Sincerely, and so much in love with my wife, Michael

Because SHE is my inspiration....

2010-01-18T19:33:00.004-06:00

My wife started a blogging group inspired by NaBloPoMo. The subject matter is still a random selection, but the focus is health. Specifically, the kind of health you'd talk about following a New Year's resolution....

And you know how I hate those.

But I started to give this a lot of thought. I looked at today's topic: "What keeps you going when you just want to stop?" and I had an immediate answer: The looming thought of death.

I could go on and on about how we're not getting any younger, about the status of my abused body and how it threatens me each day with tiny pokes and pinpoints of pain that say, "Hey, fatty. How's that heart tickin'?" I could go on and on about how my dad was two years younger than I am now when his heart exploded, about how I'm not going to let that happen to me, and even how I've taken extraordinary steps--like voluntarily subjecting myself to a friggin' angiogram to get to the bottom of the aforementioned pokes.

But, like I said, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to talk about her. The one who inspires me. The love of my life.

I love it when she gets like this.

Today I came home to see my lovely wife all smiles and inspiration. Like two two electrically-charged heart cells, when she's gloomy I'm gloomy and when she's inspired I'm inspired. After the day I'd had, I was relieved to see the latter.

The surprise of the day, and something nearly awesome enough to mark as an anniversary in my Google calendar, came in the form of the most incredible, colorful and tasty dinner I have ever had in my life. Yeah, it's the next day and I wish I could have it for breakfast.

For dinner my darling wife prepared a salad. But this was no ordinary salad. I believe she called it an American salad--and why not--the predominant colors were red, white and blue. Though who would have originally come up with this idea is beyond me. These are not things that were meant to be together... or so I'd thought.

Here's what was on it (you'll cringe as I did, but trust me... Best. Salad. Ever.):
- Lettuce - Grilled Chicken (From here it gets interesting) - Spinach - Bleu Cheese (More interesting) - Walnuts (Crazy) - Strawberries - Blueberries - Raspberry Vinegarette dressing.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Best thing I ever ate. I actually dreamt about dinner last night.

That's why I've decided to dedicate my health blog to my wife Melanie. As she talks about her various random health topics each time, I'm going to talk about her and how she's doing--no pressure, hon. I'll keep the topics going, but my spin will definitely be that of a reporter's point of view.

And I know it's going to be inspiring.

Wouldn't you like to be a Skyper too?

2010-01-17T20:35:00.003-06:00

I'm now a Skyper!

You know how necessity is the mother of invention? Well, it became necessary for me to find an inexpensive VOIP (Voice Over I.P.) product to use when gaming online.

In case you missed the bulletin, my latest distraction is playing Star Trek Online with friends. I'm in open beta. That's right... I'm officially a beta tester! W00t!

I did my research, looked at Skype, Teamgamer, Ventrilo, Mumble and others--and settled with Skype for the following reasons:

1. It's FREE (for all Skype-to-Skype calls)
2. It works like a dream while playing computer games (and using Photoshop, updating blogs, etc.)
3. It's crystal clear.
4. It's FREE
5. I can also use it for family Skype-to-Skype calls (talked to my sister over videophone. Sweet!)
6. FREE FREE FREE.

Feel free to Skype at me some time. My handle is "michaeljrigg".

Boldly Going...

2010-01-05T02:49:00.005-06:00

All right, it's time I came out of the closet.

The Nerd Closet.

I've always been a fan of Star Trek, though I'd never say that I was a Trekkie or a Trekker or even a Trekovian. I was simply raised on sci-fi. In the middle of the night, when I had a bad dream, I'd often follow the flickering blue glow of the television into the living room where I'd find my dad in his underwear, tucked into his favorite chair, eating a Hostess Twinkie and watching Space 1999, The Twilight Zone... or the original Star Trek series.

From the late '60s into the '70s, I was gradually indoctrinated. In the '80s--between chess club and Speech Team--I'd often discuss the merits and differences between 'Trek and 'Wars with my fellow Nerdlings. Naturally, when Star Trek: The Next Generation... Deep Space Nine... Voyager came out, I was glued.

I had always been more of a 'Warsie than a 'Trekkie... until the prequel movies came out. I thought Lucas kind of lost the original 12 year-olds when he made the newer movies, trying to catch more 12 year-olds in a new age, forgetting those of us who grew up with Luke and Han. By Star Wars III it was too late.

I started to turn back toward Trek with the Next Gen movies, but I admit that I'd never seen Nemesis. I'd also never seen all the episodes of DS9 or Voyager. I suppose I kind of "grew out of" them.

Though you never really grow out of Star Trek if you're a nerd at heart, do you, and when I learned from a fellow Nerd about the creation of a Star Trek MMO, I was suddenly rekindled. I never got into the Massively Multiplayer Online games. Though a big D&D player (see, more NERD) in high school, I never saw the appeal of games like World of Warcraft or Everquest. While I raised my eyebrows when Star Wars Galaxies came out, I was kept from making a mistake by a well-meaning buddy who told me it was a waste of time (meaning: tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmmmmmmme). And let's face it. Time is a commodity I often run short of (as readers of this blog will surely agree).

But now comes my old friend Trek, returning after a long mission, ready to explore "strange new worlds" once again.

Star Trek Online has been in development for years, and veteran MMO gaming company, Cryptic, seems to have created something really really... fascinating.

The game hits stores on February 2, 2010, but I jumped on an open beta pre-order and expect to be blasting Klingons and exploring the virtual galaxy in just under seven days (yes, I'm counting: 7 days, 1 hour, 55 minutes as of this sentence). Cryptic, using a tried-and-true game engine, has answered the needs--apparently--of MMOers around the world, and they've kept true to fans of all the Treks. Even, begrudgingly to some purists, the JJ Abrams variety. The troobs (Trek Noobs).

I've been following the path closely through my aforementioned nerd-buddy, but now I'm fully invested. This game looks very exciting and comes packaged complete with a syringe and rubber strap so the Nerdcotics fix can hit the blood running.

So, how deep am I going? Why don't you come with me and find out? If you're any kind of Trek enthusiast (of any era over the last umpteen permutations and 40+ years), or if you're hooked on playing computer games online with hundreds of thousands of people simultaneously (I'm betting this title will KILL the record books), why don't you join me?

I've co-created a starter "fleet" of sorts (in Star Trek Online you get to command your very own starship--her nerdy-effin-cool is that!?) called Task Force Fontana <- That's the link that will take you directly to it. Take a look at what's there if you're even mildly nerdy, or still in the Nerd Closet. I've got links to the official game site, a Star Trek info site, and a dedicated podcast site all lined up on the right panel of the main page. If you're interested in helping us form a fleet (I think we'll need somewhere between five and 10 members to get our charter), drop me a line. My contact info is on the site. Or, you can connect with me by replying here or anonymously through my home base Michael Rigg Dot Com.

I hope to see you there!
Live long and prosper, my friends. Let us toast with Twinkies among the stars. (okay, maybe that was a bit much)

0 9 N Y R 1 0

2010-01-01T10:05:00.003-06:00

Another new year is upon us and I don't think anyone really acknowledged what we all just lost.

Do you realize we will never see another "single-digit" year again? Sure, there may have been some babies born near the latter half of the past decade who will remember the '00-'09 when the world stops to ponder the latest end-of-the-world-calendar-tick propaganda in 2100, but none of us will ever see it.

For me it would mean living until I'm at least 134 years old. Sure, I am immortal, but even immortality has its limits (yeah, you can quote me on that).

So, what has 2009 taught me? Isn't that a better way of framing New Year's Resolutions?

@ -- I need to have more experiences. In 2009 I had my first airline flight. And, no, I wasn't nervous. I'd say the most "rattling" came from the bus ride to the airport. The flight itself was easy-peasy.

# -- Weight loss is easy. It doesn't take resolutions and it doesn't take "setting goals." It's a simple combination of rational behavior, common sense, and willpower. Period. Use the Nike slogan. And another thing. We as a race of humans need to stop with the resolution of "weight loss." Come on, folks. It has nothing to do with weight loss at all, does it? It has everything to do with self-image and feeling good. Maybe you don't have to lose weight--ever consider that? What if you just change your attitude. I guarantee you that's 75 percent of the battle. This year I'm going to change my attitude... and watch the pounds melt away.

& -- Am I a writer, or ain't I? (Don't answer that.) I learned that things don't get done if you don't do them. I have had the Love of My Life sitting in my lap for the past few months and haven't touched her. Here is my solemn vow to those few loyal fans who may actually hang on my blog for any word of the next novel or blognovel: One Dark Chance will be published in 2010! There. I said it. Done. And I'm not going to talk about doing anymore. I'm just going to do it.

$ -- Am I a comic? A comedian? A comedy writer? In '09 I was asked again to "perform" before an audience and did so with a modicum of encouraging approval. Each year I do my little shtick I find I'm tempted by the idea.... Can I do this as a side job? Can I make people laugh who don't know me? Can I write jokes? I hope to find out in 2010.

Well, that's the @#&$ of 2009. I've got several blog postings to write between now and the eve of 2011. Let's see what I can accomplish.

Mr. Sulu, full speed ahead.

From my WRITING desk in Lansing, IL
Michael J. Rigg

PS - This year I think I'm going to... ride a horse. Yeah. That'll be one of my main goals for 2010. Anybody own a ranch?

Resistance is Bullshot

2009-12-30T21:13:00.005-06:00

Man, I hate living with a CPAP machine.

Forget the discomfort, the fact that--like smoking cigarettes--the "high" you get from it wears off after the first few times, CPAPs are just plain suck all.

For those of you who never heard of them, CPAP (Continuous Positive Air Pressure) machines are the cheap shove-it-down-your-fat-throat medical alternatives to eating right and exercising (the expensive version being gastric bypass surgery). Both have become the idle hand-wave of physicians who have no idea how to educate patients on the proper way to diet and exercise.

The machine is basically a filter-pump that forces air through a hose and up your nose, or--in my case--nose and mouth (because I also have a deviated septum). The theory is that if your body won't move muscles to allow you to breathe easily, a machine can do it for you by forcing the air into your lungs.

The bad thing about it is sometimes your throat closes anyway. Then where does the air go? I'd rather not get into details, but it goes the only other place it can.... In to your stomach. Talk about PAIN!

Recently, I threw myself to the weight loss wolves. I did a little pre-Christmas "Riggest Loser" spiel to see if I could get down to, or below, 300 lbs. by Christmas. I didn't quite make it, though I'm still holding at -8. Why 300 and not 250? Because 300 is my CPAP wall. 300 is the magical weight that allows me to sleep normally and not like a choking hippopotamus.

Why the rant now? This morning I woke with a triangle of red, painful acne from the bridge of my nose to the corners of my mouth. Tonight I'm sleeping in my office under my desk because I can't sleep with that damn machine tonight, and because I don't want to keep my wife awake with the snoring and stopping-breathing thing.

I can't wait to get below that 300, if for no other reason than to tell the physicians of the world that they can take their handbag sleep apnea diagnosis and shove it up their stethoscopes.

I refuse to be assimilated.

Zzzzzzzzzzz Michael Rigg

Ah ha! You're fat, aren't you!?

2009-12-27T21:34:00.004-06:00

I haven't posted on the Spider in a while, and--since December was Get Fit or Die month--that can only mean one thing, can't it? I've failed! I've sucked down calories like a great enormous sucking thing that consumes stuff.

Well, no. Actually, I've managed to MAINTAIN my last weigh-in, though I am expecting to actually put on a couple. How could I not? The last month of 2009 has featured the Christmas Of One Thousand Cookies! Good Lord!

So, I guess it's back to the good ol' New Year's Resolution, huh? I hate those. Don't you?

That's why I plan to resolve not to resolve anything. I'm just going to set my mind to working on my writing every day, keeping my blogs, my Web site, and my contacts up-to-date, tapping Facebook and Twitter almost constantly.... Wait a minute. That's kind of like resolving, isn't it?

Damn.

Oh, well. Happy New Year, everyone! I'll see you again before the year's out!

Resolutely,
Michael

Riggest Loser - WEIGH IN 2

2009-12-15T22:04:00.005-06:00

Weigh-in time... AGAIN!

Oh, man, I am SO not looking forward to getting on that scale at the ranch tonight. I am in serious trouble.

Last week I ate like a fat guy at a Get Fatter Contest. We had a going-away party at work which meant pizza for lunch (for which I took my share). We had a Friends are Over pizza party for dinner (for which I had my... pizza).

Top that off with a weekend craving for cookies and milk (for which I succumbed, then proceeded to eat half a bag of Chips Ahoy!)

Damn it! Why wasn't I paying attention. It's like I'm sabotaging myself on the weekend by thinking "The weigh-in's not until Tuesday. I still have Monday night to make it right for the weekend!" What a totally irresponsible way to think of my ONE MONTH chance at better health.

Did I work out?

Not as much as I should have. And, if this were one of those "Biggest Loser" before-the-weigh-in videotaped confessionals, I'd probably say:

"I swear I'm not a game player! I'm not purposely trying to gain--or keep my weight just so I can stab somebody in the back. I mean... Jeez! You saw how Jillian was riding me in the gym. There is no human way that ANY human being could lift 500 lbs. with one hand. I kept telling her that, but she made me do it anyway. Will it pay off at the weigh-in tonight? Doubt it. I'm below the yellow line, man. I can feel it. I'm going home."

The only saving grace I have is the "last chance workout" I put myself through last night. I am so sore... I don't know. I guess we'll see.

Guess it's time to step on that scale.

"Michael, last week you weighed in at 323 pounds. You've lost three pounds so far. Why don't you step on that scale and see what you've done this week...."

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

WEIGH-IN

WEEK 3

OH, MY GOD!!!!

OH! MY! GOD!!!! I DID IT! I BROKE THE 20S! I ACTUALLY BROKE THE 20S!!

The question remains.... Can I lose that 19 lbs in the next two weeks? Can I double what I did this week... two weeks in a row?

Tune in.

Checking in (Last Chance Workout)

2009-12-14T19:35:00.005-06:00

Well, it has been a trying week.

I've had a major job change, had a load of creative work to trudge through, had to perform on stage, and now I'm mentally and physically beat.

Add to that my diet of the past few days. I've had pizza more times in the past few days than I've had in a month, and I haven't really worked out.

Tonight is my "last chance workout," as they call it on The Biggest Loser. I don't know how much I'll be able to cut away before tomorrow's weigh-in, and I'm nervous. And I hate the fact that I've just spent a couple paragraphs listing excuses.

That's the next thing I'll have to work on: Rule 1: No Excuses.

Now I'm going to go workout. Back in a sec.
_________________________________________________________________

Okay, I'm back. And proud.

We'll see if this pays off tomorrow (I weigh-in in the morning). I just did a 1-mile fast walk, did three sets of 20 150-lb pull-downs, and 25 15-lb free-weight arm curls. That, to me, is a major workout.

Tune in tomorrow to see if it paid off.

Peace n' Love!
(Except for the Asian spamming, which is really really ridiculous).

Who are these Asians!?

2009-12-10T22:08:00.002-06:00

Spam is bad enough, but when all it is is Asian characters I can't even read... that's just damn ridiculous. Give it up, Kim, you'll never get U.S. secrets outta me!

So, yesterday I felt like total crap, but I forced myself to workout and--guess what?--Yeah. Walked a mile. I also did some arm toning.

Today, no workout, but I did cut back on what I ate.

I'm planning for a great weigh-in next Tuesday (of course I'll have to fight temptation tomorrow: double dining on deep dish: pizza celebrations at lunch and dinner).

Must. Stay. Strong.

31 Days! 1 Chance! 3 Pounds so far!

Riggest Loser - WEIGH IN 1

2009-12-08T21:26:00.007-06:00

Weigh-in time. :(

And, man, I am craving cookies.

Looking back, I had a lot of minor failures. I've been stressed about changes at work, worn out by long drives to and from work, and I've stressed over the approaching holidays and how I'm going to afford them.

It's a tough battle to fight. It's hard to lose weight when you're so distracted by ... well, life.

Tonight I watched The Biggest Loser finale and was amazed at so many of the transformations. It really is inspiring, but it's not enough. I mean short of being on the damn show yourself there's really only one way to be inspired... to inspire yourself.

This past week I ate bad. I drank caffeine. I slept poorly. I only worked out three times and all three were lame.

Could I lose any weight this week?

My guess is that I'll gain a pound... or stay the same.

Guess it's time to step on that scale.

"Michael, when you first stepped on that scale you weighed 326 pounds. Let's see how you did this week."

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

WEIGH-IN

WEEK 2

Boy, was I surprised!

Yeah!!!!

It's not much, probably because I'm not on national television being forced to workout for 8 hours at a stretch, but I did it! Week 1 and I actually lost some weight!

Now that's inspiring! If I can lose three pounds by just barely thinking about it, imagine what I can do if I really put my mind to it!

Stay tuned. How do you think I'll do next Tuesday?

Next week I plan to break the 20s!

Such a Loser

2009-12-07T19:45:00.002-06:00

I'm so worn out from my 72-mile drive (round-trip for the new gig at the silo), I don't feel like doing much. I don't think I'm going to workout tonight, though I know I should.

I have work to do for the DAYJ, but I'm not feelin' that either.

I never knew a simple drive would leave me so worn out!

Ups and Downs

2009-12-06T21:11:00.004-06:00

Oh, the "Riggest Loser" has had some ups and downs.

For starters, I haven't--as promised--blogged daily about my progress, the mini-upsets and the macro-successes. I've let a lot drop under the guise of "It's just the first week."

But, the hard truth is I'm going to have a weigh-in Tuesday morning and I don't want a positive number, or a zero. A positive number would be worse. A zero, at this point, might not actually be bad because I've been eating like sh*t (for dinner today, for example, I had nachos and cheese, then some eggnog ice cream). Seriously? Jillian Michaels would kill me for something like that.

So far, I've had one lengthy but sweat-free workout (not really a workout at all if you don't sweat, is it?) and two intense-but-short workouts. Tonight I had a serious asthma attack.

Tomorrow is Monday. It is, what they call on The Biggest Loser, time for the "last chance workout" before the weigh-in.

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

I'm hoping to see a good change on this scoreboard. But I know I'm going to have to work even harder next week.

From the gym,
Mike

Doin' well so far.

2009-12-03T20:10:00.007-06:00

The depression from last night seems to have passed, but I can sense it just outside the periphery of my brain.

Today went fairly well. Though I kept grabbing chocolate from Dawn's desk--thanks, Dawn :( --my lunch was filling but minimal, dinner was light (and very, very good), and I just finished an extremely heavy 15-minute workout.

I say extremely heavy because I'm coming down off an asthma attack. Pretty intense cardio, I'd say.

___________________________________________________________________

Before I go to bed tonight I'm going to continue reading. Stephen King's Under the Dome is the best damn King since The Stand. Seriously. I'm only a quarter of the way through this immense tome and I have to say it Castle ROCKS. Sorry for the pun, King fans.

I think I'll also look over my Plot Point Post-Its for my new blognovel project.

All in all a fairly good day.

___________________________________________________________________

Tomorrow is my farewell lunch at work. It feels so good to have so many friends and well-wishers, though I'm resistant. After all, I'm just relocating to another office.

We'll see how it goes.

Still. All in all a fairly good day.

Later, my friends!
Michael

Log Book

2009-12-02T09:09:00.008-06:00

"Riggest Loser" Day 2. Since I'm on furlough today, at home with nothing but my butt in a chair, I thought I'd log my activities throughout the day and hit the PUBLISH button tonight.

2 a.m. -- Finally went to bed. The bad part is that I actually ate before I went to bed. And it wasn't just anything. I ate my mother-in-law's stuffing, then I had a sweet tooth and gnawed on a spoonful of peanut butter, then I had a glass of milk. I don't know why I didn't start kicking my own ass right then. I knew better. It's just that "Day 1" thing where you say, "One more time for old time's sake!" I'm going to regret that at this week's weigh-in.

DREAM: There was some kind of news coverage of an event from the top of a very thin tower. The reporter kept talking about the winds and "holding onto the camera for as long as he can," and "My foot keeps slipping." Yeah. That would be the stuffing nightmare.

9:13 a.m. -- Woke up and started this blog. Grabbed a glass of milk with which to take my pills. The great thing about this so far is I also had a dream about a BLOGNOVEL project I wanted to start.

1:36 p.m. -- Nice! I actually set my mind to doing something and accomplished it. First, I worked on some art for the next blognovel, then I worked out for 30 minutes! Then I took a shower, went to the vet to get Chewie his next round of meds, checked Amanda's radiator and helped her with the Thanksgiving garbage guts.... Now I'm back at the cpu with some warm turkey leftovers (dry) and a glass of white wine. Hey, one cut-back at a time, ok? Now a break, then on to the next round.

5:26 p.m. -- Good break, but now I'm hard at work on the new blognovel Plot Point Post-Its. I'm looking to start posting chapters in January!!! Much glee felt here!

7:07 p.m. -- Glee depletes. Ended up falling asleep for over an hour and no one thought to wake me. I don't typically sleep through dinner or feeding the dogs, and now I'm too late to pick up Chewie's medicine. Hope he can hold out for another day. On another note, I believe I am developing Super Hearing because despite the use of ear plugs and noise-canceling headphones blaring Radiohead I can still hear that blasted noise from downstairs. I honestly don't know how the others can stand it.

Oh, well. Back to the writing project.... or not....

I'm feeling a wave of depression lapping at me and I don't know what's causing it. I'm irritable and feeling disjointed. I'm starting a new job on Monday and had been feeling pretty good about things.

Now.... I don't know how I feel.

THE RIGGEST LOSER

2009-12-01T20:15:00.005-06:00

I got to thinkin'.

Actually, my wife had the idea. I just got to thinkin' about it.

Quite a few of us carried on for 30 days straight with that whole National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) thing. Unbelievably, I actually wrote 30 blog posts in 30 days. Granted, I didn't allow myself any time to do any "serious" writing, nor did I edit, nor did I even think about other writing projects. I just blogged and diddled with Photoshop.

And, as I did, I got fatter and fatter. I sat at my desk for long periods of time, eating, playing computer games, and gaining weight as I blogged daily on random topics.

I'll tell ya, by the end of the 30 I was ready to nap.

Then my wife suggested to the group that we go another month, but not just with any blog topic--no matter how interesting or cool--but to blog about health. We can chart our weight loss progress, talk about how we ate and fell to other vices. Maybe we can talk about stopping smoking or drinking. Maybe we can talk about giving up ice-cream or cheese....

Then she lost me as I dreamt about drizzling golden glorious cheese over the jagged peaks of delicious nachos--

But I digress.

It hit me. If I can actually sustain something as complex as a lengthy, wordy, top-10-list-ridden, or Alanis-Morissette-mentioning blog, why can't I log in and simply say, "I'm doin' fine. I ate well and walked half a mile today"?

Why not?

And, if I keep myself to the blog, I'm likely to keep to the physical activity and well-eating aren't I?

Let's find out.

THE RIGGEST LOSER

WEEK 1, DAY 1

The Weigh-in

Here's the starting point. I'll let you know next Tuesday how it's going. In the meantime, I plan to blog every day--not just about how the health kick is doing, but about other stuff as well. I understand the NaBlos are finishing off the topics. Maybe I'll follow along.

Wish me luck! GO GREEN TEAM!

I have this neighbor... a true story

2009-11-30T19:35:00.005-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #30: "I have this neighbor..."
THE FINAL NABLOPOMO POST FOR 2009!!!

(the following story is true, except for the part about the stick)

When I was a kid, say around nine or so, we had this neighbor down on the end of the block (it was a close block, so everyone was your neighbor, not just the one right next door). Well, my friends and I (my friends were actual physical neighbors) often played baseball in the field between that last house and the one next to it.

We called it "The Haunted House" because it was made of dark gray brick instead of colored wood like the rest of our houses and had pillars and a porch. The shades were almost always drawn and there were thick white cobwebs in the corner of every window. Still, though we never saw anyone in or around the house, there was always a garden growing behind the ramshackle garage. Whoever lived in the haunted house, they made it easy for my friends and eye to steel rhubarb from that garden and eat it as we kicked rocks down the gravel alley. We would always glance over our shoulders, always afraid we'd be followed by the ghouls of the haunted house. Though we never were.

A weird quiet kid named Freddy lived in the haunted house. We found this out because the girl who lived in the house on the other side of the field, her name was Alison and she was taller than any of us boys even though she was the same age, had seen the boy walking to school and asked him.

"Funny," my friend Wayne said. "We never seen him in school."

"Yeah," his brother Erik chimed in.

Alison hopped up on the fender of her father's pick-up truck and tossed her long brown hair in the direction of the haunted house. "Well why don't one of you big brave boys go see for yourself?"

"Ali, quit clownin'," I said. To Wayne: "Come on, let's go play army."

I could see that Wayne was figuring through what Alison had challenged, and I saw the glint in her eye as well. That made a cold pit form in my stomach because Wayne knew how much I loved Alison, often teased me about it, but here he was stepping between us. If he goes over to the haunted house and knocks, that will put him a peg above me. Even after the incident where he tackled Ali and made her eat the worm; she'd push that nasty memory aside--and how I had rescued her--in favor of the bravery that was to ensue here.

"C'mon, Wayne," Erik pouted. "It's hot. Let's go ride down Lake Hill."

That's when I took my opportunity. Hoping against hope that a spectre or ghoul--or just an angry neighbor--would chase me back the way I'd come long before I reached that front door, I dashed across the grassy field as fast as my skinny legs and Keds would take me.

"Go, Mikey! Go! Go!" I heard Alison cheer. Not far on my heels came Wayne. His legs were longer than mine, he was a half inch taller, s0 he could pass me up easily. I figured we'd hit the house about the same time at the rate we were going. My thighs burned, my shins felt like knives were inside them. My throat burned raw with my breaths. I had to stop. I couldn't go another step.

But that's when Wayne tripped over the smashed mailbox we used for third base and took a header into a tall thatch of weeds. I heard him cry out, heard the air rush out of him, but I kept going. I didn't slow. I didn't even look back to see if his nose was bleeding.

I hit the front porch, approaching from the side, at such a speed I was able to leap headlong onto the gray-painted wooden planks. Thankfully, the haunted house didn't have a railing around the front porch and it only stood about a foot off the ground. I tumbled forward and landed with a ka-thudding crash in front of the door.

I looked up in horror expecting to see the door pull open and a gnarled hand reach for me, but that didn't happen. I looked back across the field and saw Wayne, Erik and Alison standing by home plate. They all watched me curiously. Wayne was holding his nose. Dark smears of blood stained his dirty white T-shirt. Alison tilted her head up. I looked at the doorbell.

Slowly, I reached my hand toward the small discolored disk. A faint orange light lit the button now covered by the tip of my index finger.

I looked back. Wayne was now tilting his head back, pinching his nose. Erik wast watching for traffic on Osborne street, our street where nothing ever happens.

I leaned into the button and heard the faint dinnnnnnnnng dooonnnnnnnnnng from somewhere within. Nothing. I tried the bell again.

Looking at Alison and crew I saw Erik pantomime knocking.

But when I turned around to try knocking, the door had already opened. There stood Freddy, a popsicle stick in one hand, sharpened to a point. My buddies and I often did that after finishing our ice cream. We'd file the edges of the stick down on the rough sidewalk until we had a sharp point. Then we'd play pirate. It was a lucky thing no one ever fell on one of those sticks.

The stick and Freddy's hand were covered with melted ice cream, but I never saw a bar melt the way this one had. I couldn't guess what flavor it was since it was dark and opaque, and a deep, deep reddish brown.

Freddy grinned. His teeth too were the color of dark wet blood.

"I'm Freddy. Wanna come in?"

I took a step back slowly shaking my head. "M-My mom's calling me. I gotta go."

Freddy shook his head. "That's too bad. My mommy was calling me, but I poked her in the throat with my pokey stick and now she won't move."

The horror slid around me like a oily blanket. Freddy had killed his mother with a popsicle stick!

"Where's your dad?" I managed to croak out.

"Right behind you."

The chill vibrating my spine became convulsive through my entire body as I slowly turned to look back. Alison, Wayne and Erik were gone. I was alone.

It was just me, Freddy with the pointy stick, and the low warmth of a breath on the back of my neck. A hand clasped my shoulder. I screamed.

________________

Thanks for hangin' with us for the month! Can't wait 'til next time!
Michael J. Rigg

PS - Alanis, I love you. Ironic or not.

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

My Three Favorite Words

2009-11-29T20:15:00.005-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #29: "Your three favourite words and why."

Two of them are the most common, but most beautiful words in the English language when combined....

CELLAR DOOR

Go ahead. Whisper it to yourself, feel the beauty of the words as they roll around your mouth. Magnificent.

My third favorite word is ausgezeichnet ("Owss-guess-psych-net"). That word is just excellent. No, really. It's 'excellent' in German.

As for why... I can't say. Besides, it's really hard to nail down three. I'd say there are probably 7,463 words I like in four different languages. And, no, "Alanis" is not one of them.

Tee hee.
See you tomorrow for the last hurrah, Nablos!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

I am Legendary

2009-11-28T13:31:00.001-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #28: "Immunity vs. Immortality."

I love a choice with a mutual catch.

But, all right, I'll throw myself to the curse of the monkey's paw and make my choice. Before I do, you should realize that the only real choice in a situation like this is no choice at all. Maybe you're not familiar with the curse of the djinn.

You see, over four thousand years ago, a council of nomadic djinn got together--you might call them "genies"--and decided to make some alterations to their contracts with the mortals. Gone were the days of "three wishes" without a catch. Gone were the option to "wish for three more wishes." Oh, no. The djinn added a catch.

Henceforth, any time someone made a wish, they were faced with an adjoining curse. It's much the same as our nation's "Freedom of Information Act" wherein one small flub in the language netted you a big zilch in your quest for free info. In the case of the djinn curse, the results were much more frightening.

You may recall the Halloween tale of the monkey's paw. No? Well, here's a modern twist on the curse. A genie offers you a wish. Since your dog recently passed away, you wish your dog could be alive again. What happens? You're faced with fighting off a bleeding, muddy, slavering zombie dog! The catch: you simply asked for your dog to be alive again. You didn't specify what condition that life should be.

So you see my quandary with choosing immortality or immunity.

Here's why neither works, based on Amendment A (aka "The Monkey Paw Amendment") of the djinn contract.

I CHOOSE IMMUNITY - I am immediately immune to any and all disease. I'm never again bothered by something as simple as the common cold. I can tongue-kiss someone with HIV, Ebola, H1N1, and Herpes and still come out as clean as a whistle. The catch: One of the following is bound to happen: A) I get hit by a car and die instantly. B) A worldwide Captain Trips wipes out the earth's population. All of humanity is decimated... except me, and now I'm left honking at the McDonald's drive-thru with no one to fetch me my quarter pounder.

I CHOOSE IMMORTALITY - I will live forever and never die. Easier selection, right? Guess again: A) I immediately develop a ravenous cancer that leaves a moaning-groaning dried out husk of a human being... forever. B) I am the last survivor on the earth in another 60 million years or so, no atmosphere, the sun burning red and gigantic and slowly roasting off all my flesh, the planet exploding as the sun swallows it, and my particles drift aimlessly through space... forever.

I'll choose immunity. As long as I don't have to mention Alanis Morissette every damn day.

Thanks, NaBlos! Great month winding down! Can't wait to do it again!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Nearer My God to These

2009-11-27T12:51:00.000-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #27: "Name the person who influenced you the most growing up and why."

Oh, that one.

Hmm. Well, it would be easy to "cheat" on this one and list the ten most influential people in my life growing up; the obvious ones, mother and father, family and so forth. Or, I could take the topic word for word and pick The Singular Person, that being God.

But allow me to be more in depth.

There are those who influenced me, either real or imaginary as I grew older, who weren't in the obvious inner circle. So, as a challenge to myself, here's my list of the ten most influential persons, living, dead, real or not, who influenced my growth.

Keep in mind, these are what I call my "fringe influences." Some are more obvious than others.

Michael J. Rigg's TOP 5 MOST INFLUENTIAL SOMEBODIES

Captain E.J. Smith of the ill fated R.M.S. Titanic. A true hero by any sense of the word, strong and silent, he took the blame that was not his and took the punishment he didn't deserve. Standing tall and proud as the icy water lapped his ankles: "Be British, lads. Be British."
Papa Smurf of the ill fated Smurfs. A true blue leader to the end, and because Captain Smith started this list on too much of a downer.
Caleb Bradham, inventor of Pepsi Cola because he was not afraid to combine pepsin and cola nuts into the third greatest beverage of all times, the other two being coffee and Fleischmann's gin.
Pete Best, famed as "the unluckiest man on earth" for getting booted from The Beatles, Pete taught me to always stick to it because you'll never know how things will turn out.
Alanis Morissette. Yeah, go figure. She gave me the guts to sing naked on a crowded city street... metaphorically, of course.

More to come.... as we wind down NaBloPoMo '09!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Gratitude, The Infinite

2009-11-26T03:30:00.003-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #26: "Gratitude"

Simple.

This could be the most amazingly complicated blog entry, NaBlo or not, but I thought about it and think I have it figured out.

I am grateful for absolutely everything. Creation. Life. All of it. And I am grateful for my perception of it, for through my ears and eyes, through the air I smell and taste, I know that I am the only one having the experience. It is truly a miracle to be an individual, a human being, to have the freedom of existence, to feel love and life and passion and hate.

Good cannot exist without evil. Life is not defined without death. Loss without love, knowledge without ignorance, time without oblivion, a warm hand and a cold heart; we need them all to survive whether we accept it or not.

And if you long for a life of light without the darkness; if you want the good without the evil and the love without regret, just express your thanks to Him this day. Share in God's blessings with a smile of appreciation and maybe some day... you will inherit that kingdom.

May God bless you all on this most wonderful of holidays.
May your heart be rich and your love plentiful.

Michael

PS, Thank you, India.

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Lights, Camera, Huh?

2009-11-25T19:37:00.007-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #25: "Who would portray each of us in a movie?"

Well. Ain't this one brain twizzler?

Actually, I'd have lots of great ideas... if I knew more than half of you. And, the more I thought about it the more I had trouble even picking actors for those I knew. Even myself.

So I just centered my thoughts on the Glue Stick Chick and myself and thought about recent "buddy movies" or "couples movies" or "romantic him-and-her movies" and came up with this:

Introducing...

Jack Nicholson as Michael Rigg

Shelley DuVall as Melanie Rigg

and Alanis Morissette as God in "Dogma"

Ahh, romance.

Happy Thanksgiving Eve, everyone!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Mike's Author Stable

2009-11-24T19:23:00.005-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #24: "My favorite author(s) is (are)..."

Oh, how do I follow up my list of favorite books? I suppose the easy way out of this one would be to simply list the authors I mentioned there because it goes without saying that my favorite authors wrote my favorite books.

I could also take the narcissistic way out and simply list all my own titles.

Or, I guess I could just name one author, one book, and call it a night.

But you know I can't leave it at that.

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 AUTHORS I APPRECIATE AND WHY:

STEPHEN KING -- The undisputed master of horror introduced me to a genre other than sci-fi. The Shining and The Stand teamed up to make me a writer wannabe.
DEAN KOONTZ -- While King is King and gave me a genre I could fall in love with, Koontz gave me a voice close to my own. Well, his older stuff anyway.
RICHARD LAYMON -- A writer with balls. Laymon wasn't afraid to let the bad guys win once in awhile. His characters were real and so were the situations he put them in. Laymon showed me how easy it can be (or at least how easy you can make it look).
JEFFREY DEAVER -- The master of words. Deaver makes it look like he does years of research before touching the keyboard. He may very well do just that, but he combines the intelligence of the story with easy-breezy characters you can't help but love.
SCOTT SIGLER -- From humble beginnings as a wannabe (like me), Sigler put his balls and guts and blood on the line, told his stories and put them out as podcasts for free. Now he's on contract with Crown and Infected is a New York Times bestseller. Dang.
FRANK PERETTI -- Proved that you can write thick Stephen King horror without excessive blood, sex or even swearing. Yes, children, there is such a thing as Christian horror.
CHRISTOPHER MOORE -- A wonderful cross-genre author who can put you in a situation Richard Laymon would eat up, but adds something you'd never expect: humor. I never laughed out loud reading a book until I discovered Moore.
MICHAEL CRICHTON -- Take a situation, make it the most outlandishly crazy story imaginable, add some Michael Crichton... and suddenly it's believable. And damn fun to read.
JAMES PATTERSON -- I just discovered Patterson through my wife in the past year. I never thought I'd enjoy crime fiction, but Patterson's delivery and short, pulse-pounding chapters are inspirational as well as a blast to read.
TBA -- I hope another one of my NaBlo buddies throws out some good suggestions. I'd love nothing more than to have a stable of authors I adore, if for nothing more than to keep the variety and interest hot. Whatcha got? Who knows? Maybe Alanis will write a novel packed with intrigue and irony!

Love and lollipops! Later, peeps!
Happy pending Turkey Day!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

A Problem with Definition Number 7

2009-11-23T05:48:00.000-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #23: "PANIC!"

Panic. Hmm. So many ways this could go.

Let's start with what I can lift from dictionary.com:

pan⋅ic

–noun

1.	a sudden overwhelming fear, with or without cause, that produces hysterical or irrational behavior, and that often spreads quickly through a group of persons or animals.

2.	an instance, outbreak, or period of such fear.

3.	Finance. a sudden widespread fear concerning financial affairs leading to credit contraction and widespread sale of securities at depressed prices in an effort to acquire cash.

4.	Slang. someone or something that is considered hilariously funny: The comedian was an absolute panic.

–adjective

5.	of the nature of, caused by, or indicating panic: A wave of panic buying shook the stock market.

6.	(of fear, terror, etc.) suddenly destroying the self-control and impelling to some frantic action.

7.	(initial capital letter) of or pertaining to the god Pan.

–verb (used with object)

8.	to affect with panic; terrify and cause to flee or lose self-control.

9.	Slang. to keep (an audience or the like) highly amused.

–verb (used without object)

10.	to be stricken with panic; become frantic with fear: The herd panicked and stampeded.

Origin:
1595–1605; earlier panique < class="ital-inline">Panikós of Pan; see -ic

Related forms:

pan⋅ick⋅y, adjective

Synonyms:
1. alarm. See terror.

pan⋅ic

–noun

1.	Also called panic grass. any grass of the genus Panicum, many species of which bear edible grain.

2.	the grain.

Hmm again. I really don't know which definition best suits my ideas.

Wait a minute! Yes, I do.

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 THINGS YOU CAN DO WHILE HIDING IN A STAND OF PANIC GRASS:

Play checkers with your friend Tony from the trailer park across the street.
Have an attack wherein your heart rate increases. You become frantic. Now that would be ironic, wouldn't it, Alanis? Hiding in a stand of panic grass having a panic attack.
Counting petals on a--

Hang on a sec. Seriously? "Of or pertaining to the god Pan?" Really? Let me get this straight....

Let's say that you're good friends with Pan. Why, I can't imagine. I'd bet the damn flute music would drive you crazy after awhile. But let's say for the sake of this argument you are.

You go over to Pan's house--I don't know how or where Pan would live exactly, but we'll pretend is suburbia. He invites you in and brews up a couple of Celestial Seasonings teas for you. Maybe a nice herbal blend with a bit of lemon, or honey.

You chat for awhile, really get to like the guy. In fact, you spend the afternoon with Pan in his garage, going through his old Springsteen albums and talking about the time he rolled his Camaro.

When you eventually leave Pan's house, he sends you off with a fistful of fliers related to his business (he has a studio mixer in his basement for cutting amateur albums). He wants you to put them under wiper blades of the cars parked at the Circle K. You agree because you hit it off so well.

Only others now see you differently. You're one of them. A Pan supporter. You've fallen for his web of lies and now you're going around with "PAN-DEMO-NIUM" fliers. You're marked. You're one of those "Pan fellows."

Does that then make you a Panic? Do you join other like-minded individuals and become referenced as a group of Panics? Or are you simply Pan supporters or friends of Pan? (FOP, if you will)?

Seriously, you are now "of or pertaining to the god Pan." According to dictionary.com, you're a Panic.

Okay, maybe my drawn-out example doesn't exactly fit the loose interpretation of "of or pertaining to," but Pan's flute definitely does.

By definition, the instrument that sports his name is a Panic. Have you ever heard it called that?

Didn't think so.

Personally... I think that's a stretch.

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Passion in its many forms

2009-11-22T19:15:00.000-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #22: "What are you most passionate about at this time in your life and why?"

The serious answer is quite simple: My wife, my love, my God, my life, not necessarily in that order.

But "serious" is not my style. By now, you should all know that. While blogs are an excellent way to vent, that's just not me. I like to have a little fun when I share.

Let's see, besides Alanis Morissette, what else am I passionate about at this moment?

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 THINGS FOR WHICH I AM FEELING PASSION AT THE MOMENT (AND WHY):

The underwear I have on at the moment. It's not easy to find a pair so comfortable anymore.
I am passionate about the planet Earth. Since I arrived here from my own planet of Krypton, I've kept a watchful eye over this little blue ball. I love it so.
Dorothy R. Stratten. No, wait. That was 1980.
The M-41A pulse rifle with over-and-under pump action grenade launcher. Suh-weet.
My Pip-Boy bobble head from the Fallout 3 collectors' edition. He funny.
My iPhone and its children, the apps. But should I be judged by my fondness for material things, I never saw this piece of crap before in my life.
The greatest television show ever conceived, Mystery Science Theater 3000. You always know how to make me smile whenever I'm feeling blue.
The black Sharpie in my pen cup. Pepsi Cola. my Kinyo surround sound headphones.... The triumvirate of joy and yummies.
The English language, particularly when spoken with an English accent.
My wife's long, luxurious hair. Aaaaaahhhhhhhh, I'm so jealous.

And, of course, you. My readers!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

If

2009-11-21T05:40:00.000-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #21: "If I had a..."

Oops.

This was my topic and now I'm completely stymied. I'm sure I had a great response for this 22 days ago. Hmm.

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 THINGS WHICH, IF I HAD THEM...:

Uranium Pew 36 Explosive Space Modulator -- I'd rule the world.
Alanis Morissette's autograph -- I'd be surprised.
A perfect ergonomic mouse -- I'd be happy as a clam.
Rash -- I'd treat it with Neosporin.
Hook -- I'd wish I'd had my peg leg first.
Dime for every time I mentioned "Alanis" -- I'd have $2.10 (even though I mentioned her twice in this post, I didn't mention her in the music-themed NaBlo... because it was ironic, remember?) Ha! Math, people! Math.
The body of an alien in my basement -- I'd be the most wanted man in the galaxy.
Notion -- I'd probably procrastinate for about a week, then act on it.
Hammer -- I'd hammer in the morning, I'd hammer in the evening, I'd hammer all over this world.
A second chance to choose my three NaBlo topics -- This one probably wouldn't be in there.

Much love!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Let me tell you a story

2009-11-20T20:10:00.000-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #20: "What was your favorite book (as an adult or child)?"

Where to begin?

I've had plenty of favorite books in my lifetime, but I'm sad to say I'm not as well read as I should be by now. One of the cardinal rules of being a good writer is that you have to read. I have such a hard time reading, not because it's difficult mind you, but because it's so hard to find a book that will lasso you and spellbind you.

Seriously. I mean think about what needs to go into a book to make you want to read it. First, you have to be attracted to it (and don't get me started with all that bunk about not judging a book by its cover--that's how most books are chosen, or at least what makes you pull them off the shelf in the first place). Next is the dust jacket, the synopsis that basically says, "This story is (or isn't) for you. Even if you get past that, you have the story (or information) itself to keep you interested throughout your journey. If it's fiction you're reading, you have to care about the heroes... or despise the enemies. It's a tough process.

I could probably count the number of "favorite" books I've read on one hand.

Or two.

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 FAVORITE BOOKS (in no particular order):

The Bible. Great hero, and--if you think about the parables and recounted stories throughout the Bible's books--I'm sure you'll find the source of every great story written ever since. In essence... the greatest story ever told.
A Night to Remember. Forget that James Cameron crap. If you want a great story about the sinking of the Titanic, that's the book for you. Filled with eyewitness accounts, but told in the form of a novel.
The Shining. Probably the scariest Stephen King book I've ever read. I am, admittedly, something of a freak as I enjoyed Stanley Kubrick's (nothing at all like the book) movie as well.
One Dark Chance. What's that sound? Oh, it's me blowing my own horn. This will be an awesome book when it's completed.
The Art of War. Sun Tzu has a secret that can change how you think.
The collected works of: Jeffrey Deaver, Richard Laymon, Jeff Long and Christopher Moore. Okay, I cheated. I can't name just ten. The more I think about it, the more I can't stop thinking about it.
Stephen King On Writing. The best "how to" book for writers ever written. Bar none.
Odd Thomas. Dean Koontz struck gold when he discovered the delicate and tasty mixture of sardonic wit and creepy horror.
The Host. Twilight shmilight, this is Stephanie Meyers' masterpiece.
Alanis and Me, one pop star's rise to fame and misfortune. Actually, there's no such book. I just couldn't think of any other way to sneak her in this one.

See ya soon.

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Get you're wrds RITE!!!!

2009-11-19T18:40:00.006-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #19: "Grammar Police -- An idea whose time has come?"

Don't have me to be getting the started!!! I couldn't be too silly with this one. It's a subject too near and dear to my heart.

I should also point out, before proceeding, that I am just as guilty as the next person when it comes to making mistakes (either spoken or written). It's only human. But let's not bastardize our language. It's hard enough to understand people some times.

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 GRAMMAR/SYNTAX/COMMON SENSE FLUBS:

All right, let me get this one out of the way: If it rains on your wedding day--unless you're a meteorologist--it's not "ironic." It's unfortunate.
WRITING IN ALL CAPS, PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THE BASIC RULES OF CAPITALIZATION... UNLESS YOU LIKE TO YELL ALL THE TIME.
Never put two spaces after a period. That may have been the rule in grade school, but it no longer applies to proper, logical syntax... also... an ellipse is not an excuse when you forgot what the punctuation rule is... got it?
txtng shud b band unlss u hld out hpe 4 evre1 ritin dis way.
Lite is a beer. Light is not. Can everyone get that thru their head? Stop using makeshift words.
Periods always go inside quotes. "Period." Thank you, Associated Press, for simplifying this after all these years.
"Ain't" is a word. It just ain't used right half the time.
Exclamation points should only be used in advertising copy or fiction. There's no need to get crazy!!! By the way, isn't one always enough???
- is a hyphen. -- is a dash. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
Michael said, -The use of any punctuation other than a quote mark to indicate a quote is downright ridiculous.- Hear me, "new age" book publishers?

Sorry I was late, NaBlos. I'm just pleased I'm well on my way to 30 blogs in a 30-day span. That's almost unheard of for me.

Later,
Mike

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Yeeaaaarrrrrrrrr!

2009-11-18T21:14:00.005-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #18: "Which would you rather get first - your peg leg or your hook?"

Ahh, let us skip right over the immortal question: Pirate or Ninja? and go straight to the assumption of piratehood. It so happens I'm a Ninja of the 12th Nakarro. Of course you don't know what that means, and don't try to find it on Google. We are a unique legion of incredibly talented and swift Ninja with top secret connections. We are the guardians of the Illuminati and the keepers of lost kittens.

But this is about pirates, isn't it?

Well, it might be easy to simply say peg leg. Why? It's easier to manage your balance if you have two hands, isn't it? Not to mention adjusting your leg when needed, hemming pants, etc. So,

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 PIRATE LIMB REPLACEMENTS:

JACK SPOONER - Scourge of the red sea, Captain Jack favored an eye patch.
CRAZED JACK JACKSON - Stayed mostly in port. He favored two eye patches, both over the right eye.
BLIND JACK MCBAD - Sailed around the Isle of White until he threw up. Named so because he sported two eye patches (one over each eye).
JACK THE CAT - Had a Calico cat on deck with him. The cat had three peg legs.
CAPTAIN JOHN THE JACKASS - Famed for seizing Captain Jack the Cat's ship, tossing the cat overboard, and standing there laughing as the cat tried to swim with three peg legs. John The Jackass had all of his body parts (but often picked his nose).
TRADER JACK - A pirate who pretended to be a tradesman on the open seas, then seized ships. Trader Jack had a wooden pinky finger and silver teeth.
JACK THE TRAITOR - His name was self-explanatory, but there was no explanation for his buttock replacement. Jack the Traitor had an ass made of two hollowed-out cannonball shells.
JACK MORISSETTE - A French pirate who always kept one hand in his pocket. The other one was usually doing something else.
SERGEANT JACK - Never made it to Captain Jack status, Sgt. Jack had three peg toes and one peg leg. And, rather than a hook, when Trader Jack took his hand, Sgt. Jack had it replaced with a feather duster. Why? "Aar, to keep me sovereigns clean. Arrrr."
BOB SMITH - Angered because he wasn't named Jack by his parents (who were also pirates and should have known better), Bob had a wooden ear and a hook knee. He was kicked off his hacky-sack team at age 13.

And now I must leave. I'm receiving the secret Ninja call.

Comin', fellas! NaaahhhhIIIIiiiiiiiinnnooooooooo!

Tomorrow!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

HEAR and now

2009-11-17T21:03:00.005-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #17: "The Present"

Okay, nothing goofy this time. This is the perfect opportunity for me to talk about the projects I have--or don't have--going on right now. And, to take advantage of the new NaBloPoMo readers to do a little self-marketing (insert major winky-face).

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 THINGS I'M DOING IN THE PRESENT:

Editing An Angel for Sara Dawn. My second "blognovel," Sara Dawn stands "published" for free as a first draft. You can find it at michaelrigg.com. I'm currently saving up for some printer cartridges so I can re-print the manuscript and go through it for an edit and possible....
...entry as a podcast novel. I'm currently torn between sprucing up and editing Sara Dawn to read as an "audio book" via podiobooks.com, or to shelve it next to August Winter (my first blognovel, also free at michaelrigg.com). I would then concentrate on my "favorite child..."
...One Dark Chance. The first part of a massive, twisty novel series that takes place over decades, ODC was my "perfected" novel back in 1994. I had previously written three manuscripts that I had sent out, but each one had flaws. ODC was the culmination of a lot of practice. Sure, she still needs work, but I'm charged for the task. The other three novels included The Crescent House, War of Wishes, and...
...Our Enemy's Eyes (code named: "Below"), which I have been contemplating recently as the next "rough" blognovel. But, I'll have to juggle all that with...
...my long-awaited podcast show, tentatively called, "PODCASTINATION." It's going to be a show about writing and the creative process, and also about procrastination, how to beat it and--more importantly--how to make it work for you. Naturally, that's all smoke and mirrors until I actually...
...get behind the microphone. Which I have! I've done a couple of dry runs, testing the sound of my voice, eliminating buzz in the background, etc. I may be setting up an interview guest this weekend, but I'll also have to decide what I'm going to do about my...
...music bed. So, it's a good thing I've been practicing my guitar a lot lately. My new found love for guitar sparked when I discovered Jonathan Coulton recently. I'm picking it up and diddling the strings a bit here and there--which is more than I can say for...
...working out. Okay, I'm going to skip over this one. Suffice to say this is one of those things I have not been doing lately. I am working on another creative project, however...
...that I'm not going to talk about. Sorry, folks, but don't you think I've prattled on long enough about stuff I'm working on? Where's the beef!? I'm sure everyone wants to know how ODC turns out, how Sara Dawn will change--and sound--and what the next blognovel's going to be. Well, at least...
...I'm keeping up with the Baby Blue Spider. This blog has really been juiced up since NaBloPoMo. I appreciate the game and look forward to next time. Oh, by the way, I almost forgot to mention...
Alanis Morissette.

Ha! LOLZ.

See ya, NaBlos!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Life in haikai verse....

2009-11-16T21:50:00.003-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #16: "Write a Haiku"

Alanis my love,

my blog posts are cold poems.

Restraining order.

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty, oily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen Knotted...HAIR!

2009-11-16T20:56:00.007-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #15: "What Color Hair Would You Really Want"

Simple. Any. Why do you think I'm so into Alanis Morissette? You think it's her singing or her beauty? Pfft. It's her HAIR, man, her HAIR!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

How to Lose a Fight

2009-11-16T20:02:00.003-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #14: "5 Ways to Lose a Fight"

I can't stop at five! Besides, when it comes to losing fights, I'm an expert. Ask everyone I've beaten--ha harrrrr arrrrrrr!

Let's see. There are different kinds of fights. There are physical punch-duck-jab fights; there are arguments; there are fights against impossible odds; fights to kick a habit....

Ah, screw it. Let me just get to the point.

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 WAYS TO LOSE ANY FIGHT:

The easiest way: Find someone larger, smarter or wittier and simply push the appropriate buttons. In defense, simply repeat, "That all ya got!?"
Attend a music awards show dressed like Kenye West.
Learn how to say, "Hello, I'd like to ask you a question" in American Sign Language. Find a group of already-irritated deaf people. Sign the question to them, then continue signing nonsensically, throwing in the middle finger every other gesture. Be persistent and act like you really know what you're talking about.
Write a racial slur on the side of your car as large as you can. Honk and wave at everyone regardless of race. That's it. It doesn't matter where you drive or what group the slur is aimed at. Within a distance of 20 miles, you will lose a fight at some point.
Call Mike Tyson a sissy pants to his face. Make sure you pronounce it "thithy panth" and use a high pitched voice.
Challenge yourself to a board game. Cheat.
The next time you're arguing with your spouse or loved one, say this: "There is NO WAY I am going to lose this fight."
Get the cops to chase you (doesn't matter how). If you're in a car, hop out and let them chase you on foot. Once the closest cop gets within 20 feet, stop, turnaround, and point a small black object in their direction (like a comb or Milky Way bar). Shout, "Stop right there, pig, or I'll shoot!" [WARNING: This will not only help you lose a fight, it will get you dead].
Try to kiss someone of the same sex: 1) In front of their friends, 2) While they're drunk, 3) Preferably in a redneck bar.
Send a dictionary to Alanis Morissette with "ironic" bookmarked and underlined. Include a note with your home address and the message: "I just DARE you to call the cops on me."

From the guy who lost the fight to get this written two days ago when it was due.

Later, NaBlos!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

The Cause of Charity

2009-11-12T21:23:00.009-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #13: "Cause(s) Close to Your Heart"

I know I'm behind, NaBlos. Not to worry. I plan on catching up the next couple of days.

I typically give a total of $23,043.37 per month to the following causes, give or take 23 grand or so.

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 CAUSES CLOSE TO MY HEART:

FAPS (the Film Anti-Preservation Society) - Doing away with films that should not be allowed to exist. For example, the movies of Ed Wood, Coleman Francis, Earl Warren and George Lucas. We are raising money to make sure these films are transferred to volatile silver nitrate stock and stored someplace warm and salty... like a cheese factory.
SNPK (Save the North Pole Kittens) - Not many people know about this charity. We raise money to rescue kittens stranded at the North Pole. Did you know over 400,000 kittens die there every year? It's true. And that's why I send $100 per month to a P.O. Box in Utah.
BOSS (Box of Silly String) - Silly String is highly flammable. Just check out YouTube, you'll see. This is a group sworn to find, collect, and store Silly String in large cardboard boxes. We keep them at Tim's place in the basement next to the water heater.
GFFG (Girl Friends For Gamers) - There is an epidemic in our country. Thousands of teenagers grow up in their mother's basements eating Cheetos and sipping Monster, battling hordes of demons and virtual drug dealers. Never knowing the rejection of a real person they can't simply delete or blow away, these kids grow into middle aged men living in their mother's basements eating Cheetos and sipping Monster.
DARE (Dogs And Rare Elk) - An organization often confused with the other D.A.R.E., DaRE provides much needed colorful pet sweaters and antler warmers to dogs and various rare elk.
FINLAND (First Inuit Natives Learn Another Necessary Device) - Not too many people know about FINLAND. We are a cause dedicated to teaching native Alaskan Inuits the art of peripherals. Have an Inuit with a CPU crammed with video files? We teach them how to own and operate an external hard drive.
ALANIS (Alienate Lesser-known Artists Now In Sanitariums) - Sometimes musicians go a little... bonkers. And you just have to completely alienate them out of their craziness, especially the ones who go crazy before they really make it big, or early in their career when they become forgetful or don't know the definition of ironic.
UFOANSS (UFOs Are Not Space Ships) - I was a UFO investigator for three or four years back in the 80s and the one thing that stood out to me the most was the notion most of my peers had that UFOs are piloted by little gray men with big eyes. Hello? Did someone miss the definition: UNIDENTIFIED Flying Objects.
JPEG (Just Print Everything Gray) - A cause to which I belong that gives great pride and support to colorblind pressmen and printing specialists.
TEN LIST (Tell Everyone Not to List In Sections of Ten) - Pretty much. Enough with the top ten lists.

Ahh. It feels good to give.

Later, NaBlos!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

High school wasn't as tasty

2009-11-11T20:23:00.004-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #12: "How has your life as an adult turned out differently than what you had anticipated in high school?"

Well, I never thought I'd be married to a wonderful, loving wife, that's for sure! I never thought I'd be as truly happy as I am now, even when things are rough, unsettling or challenging.

I never thought I'd be chosen by NASA to represent the "baldness gene" aboard the first Generation Ship.

I never thought I'd become a Mormon.

I never thought I'd bite my own tongue and develop an overpowering taste for human flesh, a taste that lead me to become a cannibal.

I never thought I'd meet ten other wonderful women, all of whom were Mormon, none of whom were cannibals... marry them and eat them.

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 MORMON CANNIBAL ASTRONAUT RECIPES FOR DINNERS FEATURING YOUR EX WIVES (~or~) Michael J. Rigg's TOP WAY TO CONCEIVE OF, AND TREMENDOUSLY STRETCH TO LUDICROUS PROPORTIONS, A THINLY CREATED PREMISE:

Wife 1 (Rachel) - A bit thin on the bone, I prepared Rachel with a little chestnut and lemon juice. She had a kind of fishy texture, but went down as smooth as slick jerky.
Wife 2 (Joan) - Diced and covered with a warm port sauce. Joanie was an awesome compliment to a wheel of goude we received as a wedding present. Mmm, if only she could've enjoyed it.
Wife 3 (Terri) - Prepared lovingly with onion and garlic clover--although I have to admit I went a little too heavy with both. I had the Territrots for days.
Wife 4 (Marti) - For the time we were together, I gave Marti everything she wanted. Consequently, she spoiled and I had to throw her out.
Wife 5 (Diana) - The inspiration for my Diana character in "One Dark Chance," it was really hard for me to go through with it. So, to make her last a while, I froze half of her. The rest I segmented and split between soup, bacon, and my favorite--Diana Bleu Benedictin.
Wife 6 (Tabitha) - Tabby was prepared with some smooth Damablanc cheese I got from friends Brad and Carly in Canada. I invited them down for dinner and they could not believe what I could do with meatloaf. As Brad was sopping up some juice with his olive-wine bread, he asked, "So, where's Tabs?" I couldn't resist: "You're soaking in her." I haven't heard from them in awhile. Don't know why.
Wife 7 (Ceilia) - Brushed every 15 minutes with a mixture of hollandaise and veloute, Cee was one of my favorite dishes. Served with a Zinfandel, she was the perfect light dish for any late night meal.
Wife 8 (Bonnie) - Bonnie was a trucker in life. She hauled gas for Exxon and always smelled of diesel. I tried a long marinade with lemon and a California Cabernet. I ended up using the deep fryer and going off my diet for awhile.
Wife 9 (Alanis) - Who wants breakfast!? I do! I do! Morissausage it is. Sausage links on the side with a little Diana, thawed and rolled into an omelet with onions, peppers, mushrooms and cheddar cheese.
Wife 10 (Melanie) - Still with me. But considering her love of ice-cream, I'm thinking a nice dessert featuring hot fudge and caramel, crunchy topping, fresh fruit, and a cream cheese crust. Mm'mm.

Thanks to Moose for inspiring the bizarre off-shoot on this otherwise simple topic.

On a more serious note, if changing anything in high school means changing where I am today... I wouldn't change a thing. I am so blessed to have the wife and family I have now. I absolutely adore my step kids (even the one I rarely see) and my in-laws (particularly because they feel like a real mom and real brothers and sisters).

PS - No wives were harmed during the making of this blog.

Talk to you tomorrow, NaBlos!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

That was interesting....

2009-11-11T07:13:00.006-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #11: "The Most Interesting Thing That Happened Today"

Can you find us? OJ Simpson, Alanis Morissette, Danicka Patrick, Jonathan Coulton,
Viking Mike, Dr. Mike, Uncle Bertram, Inmate Mike, Stupid Mike, Misc. Mike?

Well, talk about weird. It just so happened that things kept happening today that I've already touched upon in my previous NaBloPoMo blogs.

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 INTERESTING THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY:

I got a call from my old friend Orenthal James. He was acting really weird, kept asking me about that pair of Bruno Magli's I loaned him years ago. I just told him he could keep the shoes. I didn't need them back, but if he had my gloves I'd like 'em back. The ones I borrowed from him were too big.
One week late! I was late going to work today because a tribe of angry Norsemen were riding by, dragging the carcasses of their fallen enemies behind. "You guys were supposed to be here a week ago!" I yelled. "We waited for you!" One called back, "Narflu na' K'luflarn!" Which, I believe, translates to "We are here for your women!" I told them they weren't home so they continued on toward Joliet.
For lunch today a neighbor from the next cubicle offered me her soup. She said she wasn't feeling well. It tasted like chicken, though a little gamy. "What is it?" I asked. "Squirrel," she replied. It wasn't bad, though a little hard to swallow; like a jagged little pill or something.
Got my order of Jynx shirts today! They screwed up my order though, and gave me one of those 'I'm with stupid' shirts. Now I have to send it back.
Got a call from my R&D department on Sublevel 42. They wanted me to approve sketches for the new hood line I wanted on the RIGG SS model. That's going to be a nice car, though the LX will be a classy ride.
I'd thought I lost my pager, but a buzzing sound from my laundry basket pulled me back to OLPMB. Dr. Sarmin asked if I could come in and help him with some first year students. So, I swung in to the hospital and did a partial nephrectomy--just for my buddy Indea, mind you. As I left, he called, "Thank you, Michael." I said, "No... Thank you, Dr. Sarmin!"
One of my old buddies from "The Rock" got paroled and gave me a call. He wanted to know if I'd join him for lunch, but I told him I'd already had some delicious squirrel stew. He said, "How 'bout dinner then?" I said, "No, I got plans." He came back with, "Can I take you to the movies this weekend maybe? Dancin'? There's this club--" That's when I cut him off and said, "Whoa! Hang on there, Skitch. You know you're out now, right? You can actually date girls again." Then he hung up on me. I gotta say it twisted my heart... a little.
>>> ENTRY REDACTED <<<
I got another call, right after I hung up with Skitch. It was my uncle Billy Bob, the great great grandson of Colonel William Henry Robert Bertram Rigg. He's flying in next week and wanted to know if I had Uncle Berty's old officer's sword. I told him no, "but I do have his pistol. Never been fired and only dropped once."
I listened to Jonathan Coulton's Code Monkey today.

Only one of those things is true, and it's not the last one. Can you guess?

Okay, you're right. It's not fair because I lied.

It wasn't a nephrectomy. It was a colon resection. Man! I hate those.

By the way, for those of you keeping score on the Alanis Morissette references, I did NOT mention her yesterday despite the obvious opportunity. You see, since the topic yesterday was music, I purposely avoided the mention.

And that, my friends, was ironic.

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Michael Rigg: The Soundtrack Album

2009-11-10T17:56:00.000-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #10: "What 7 Songs Would be on the Soundtrack of Your Life?"

Me with the author of No. 10 (I wish).

So, the soundtrack of my life.

If you go back to my previous NaBloPoMos, you'll know I can't stop at just seven. No, I actually have 10 solid chart-toppers to fill out my album. I figured I'd go in chronological order with the hits as I remember them, and what memories they inspire, spaced approximately every 4.4 years since I was born.

In some cases I mention more than one song.

Curious? Let's go!

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 SONGS ON THE ALBUM OF HIS LIFE:

GOLDFINGER (1965, Shirley Bassey). Yes, the theme from the James Bond film of the same name was the theme of my birth. Yes, yes, this child was born to be a filthy rich power-hungry nemesis bent on world domination--or a perverted fetishist who likes to see naked women painted gold.
ROCKETMAN (1972, Elton John). Also, MAJOR TOM (David Bowie). Bowie came first, and many music followers believed Elton's opus to be related to the Odyssey oddity. Bowie later voiced his acceptance of the idea, yelling out "Rocketman!" during a performance of Major Tom. Anyway, these tunes definitely foreshadowed what would bring me so much fascination through the next decade.
STAR WARS (1977, John Williams). A geek is born. While all my friends were tuning in to Foggarty and Speedwagon, I was collecting sci-fi movie soundtracks.
JEFF WAYNE'S MUSICAL VERSION OF WAR OF THE WORLDS (1982, Jeff Wayne [The album was originally published in 1978]). One year away from graduating high school and I was still into classical music and film soundtracks, though by this time I had also started down a path as diverse as the stories I was dreaming up for movies I'd shoot with my friends. The Police, AC/DC, Duran Duran, Natalie Cole, and Men at Work all started appearing on my record shelf. Jeff Wayne's rock opera was my bridge from classical to rock. I started picking up "classics" that year too (old Journey, Styx, Eagles, etc.)
KYRIE (1986, Mr. Mister). Finally! A song that rocked my Members Only jacket! This song stole most of my brain cells my junior year of college.
LOSING MY RELIGION (1991, R.E.M.). Our R.E.M. tribute band was called "L.E.D." and we swore each other to secrecy and promised never to tell anyone what the letters stood for. This was my musical period. I bought a $500 Fender Stratocaster, a mandolin, a 12-string acoustic, an acoustic-electric, an electric bass--learned to play them all.... Then I realized all those instruments and I didn't fit together in the same small studio apartment. Besides, our band broke up during our first practice. Gotta say, though, I nailed Losing My Religion on the mandolin! Ironically, this was also the year I became an agnostic.
... Hmm. I really can't think of a song that suits me from around 1996. I even scoured the tunes on the Billboard Top 100 from '96. Nothing in the singles for '96, either, and I went through the first 13-15. No dice. Hmm.
MOST GIRLS (2000, Pink). Nah. I'm kidding. The early 00's were a musical void for me. But the terrorists couldn't hold me back forever.
IT'S YOUR LOVE (2007, Tim McGraw & Faith Hill). Though it wasn't written in '07, that's when it found me. Our wedding song, it conjures up so many wonderful dreams of that day and of my lovely wife--The Glue Stick Chick. Love you forever, bunny! Your love just does something to me. It sends a shock right through me. I can't get enooooouuuuuggggghhh...!
BEST. CONCERT. EVER. [the whole album] (2009, Jonathan Coulton). When I latch on to a fascination, I just won't let it go and, consequently, I make the people around me physically ill. It's like last summer when I wanted to hike through Alaska, retracing the steps of Chris McCandless all the way to the Magic Bus. Well, I'm sorry, but I just really really dig JoCo's work. That's what being a fan does.

Besides, Shania has that restraining order against me.

See you tomorrow, NaBlos!

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda

http://www.art5y.com - april

http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca

http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth

http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin

http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen

http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody

http://blog.kowburger.com - joe

http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan

http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure

http://thematernalmoose.com - matt

http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie

http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey

http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti

http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Memories. Yes, Memories...

2009-11-09T12:53:00.000-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #9: "The Past"

I really don't have a lot to say about the past, but I managed to dig this up. It's a picture of my great great uncle Colonel William Henry Robert Bertram Rigg. The colonel was famous for beginning his military career with the Confederacy in 1861, then "switching sides" a year later when he was caught with his pants down... literally.

He had been relieving himself behind the Shiloh church when a Yankee captain found him and mistook him for a Union officer.

This picture was taken after Gettysburg. I really don't know what his wife's name was, but there's something familiar about her.

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of theBaby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

HELP. TRAPPED IN A CONSPIRACY.

2009-11-08T13:00:00.008-06:00

[TO READ THE MEMO, CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW]
NaBloPoMo Topic #8: "Conspiracy Theory"

wearing orange like clockwork

2009-11-07T20:57:00.005-06:00

NaBloPoMo Topic #7: "Orange"

I never dreamed that this NaBloPoMo thing would lead me to a confession that would spoil the trust and honesty I've enjoyed with my lovely bride over all these years. I was sure I could keep this bottled up.

My wife, Melanie The Glue Stick Chick, posted the following on her Orange NaBloPoMo, "Orange also reminds me of when my husband, Michael and I first met on the internet. We were chatting for awhile and decided we would exchange pictures. The picture he sent had this goofy look of his and he was wearing an orange shirt. My heart skipped a few beats as I prayed to God that he wasn't wearing one of those Department of Corrections jumpsuits. So glad my prayer was answered."

Yup. She guessed it.... I did a nickel up at Attica for impersonating medical personnel. Not like yesterday. That was legit. I'm talking about back in 1999 when I posed as a nurse in order to get some Oxycontin for a sick friend.

No, it's true!

But, not to worry. I had learned my lesson. I'll never pose as a nurse again! I swear!!

Presenting: Michael J. Rigg's TOP 10 PET NAMES WHILE IN PRISON:

"Oscar Wilde!" (I didn't know this, but my cellmate, "Locust" [I think his actual name was Roger] told me Wilde also wrote while in prison. Apparently, there was a lot I didn't know about Wilde at the time, as most of the following nicknames will attest.)
"Sweet Thang!"
"Yoo-hoo, Nursey...."
"Hey, Alanis! (usually followed by "Stop singin' that m***** f****** ironic sh**!")
"Darlin'."
"The Wife."
(The always generic) "Hey, A**hole!"
"Baby", "Babydoll", "Sweet Baby" (um, you get the idea.)
"Sweetcakes" (Which, I assure you had nothing to do with the "sweetness of my cakes." It so happened I was put in charge of the dessert tray in the kitchen after a year of good behavior.)
"Kissyface." (And, you know what.... I really don't want to talk about this anymore.)

By the way....

Here's the actual photo, un-retouched. I'm sorry, hon. I should have told you sooner.

This blog post brought to you by The Greater Region NaBloPoMo Team

(We didn't actually come up with a name, but collectively that's us)

During the month of November, we're all blogging on the same topics day to day as part of National Blog Posting Month. Thank you for endorsing the continued entertainment of the Baby Blue Spider. Please visit the links of my friends and check out their takes on today's topic.

http://aaleecetaylor.blogspot.com - amanda
http://www.art5y.com - april
http://www.bluehighlights.com - 'becca
http://pekaboosmiles.blogspot.com -beth
http://bectaylorhouse.blogspot.com" - erin
http://jenalo.blogspot.com - jen
http://jodyverhagen.blogspot.com - jody
http://blog.kowburger.com - joe
http://www.xanga.com/internetdrifter - jonathan
http://web.me.com/mrs.hittle/My_husbands_wife/NaBloPoMo09/NaBloPoMo09.html - laure
http://thematernalmoose.com - matt
http://melanierigg.blogspot.com - melanie
http://babybluespider.blogspot.com - mikey
http://circleeverything.blogspot.com - patti
http://hollykoster.blogspot.com - holly

Baby Blue Spider

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Heart of Bronze 001

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